Facts about Craig Bruce

"Why are people unemployed? Because there is no work. Why is there no work? Because people are not buying products and services. Why are people not buying products and services? Because they have no money. Why do people have no money? Because they are unemployed"

"When you talk to yourself, at least you know that someone is listening"

"When shooting in the dark, it is a good idea to use a machine gun"

"Think Tank, noun: The shower"

"Supermarket automatic doors open for me; therefore, I am"

"Never question the relevance of truth, but always question the truth of relevance"

"If the shoe fits, it is probably worn out"

"Even IBM can't stand in the way of progress... for more than a decade"

"When trying to locate something, search your mind first"

"Live every day as if it is your last, and you'll be correct sooner than you otherwise would be"

"It's hardware that makes a machine fast. It's software that makes a fast machine slow"

"It's a bit odd that nobody seems to be using the correct technical term to describe organized Islamic terrorists. They are not a faction of a religion or a social movement. They are a cult. A suicide cult"

"You usually have to wait for that which is worth waiting for"

"When you are finished with it, put it back in the first place that you looked for it"

"Something is always simple until you try it"

"Now is the time for all good men to run like hell"

"Nothing surpasses the beauty and elegance of a bad idea"

"It's funny how most activists are pacifists"

"I wonder if those people shown protesting the deployment of nuclear weapons to western Europe during the Reagan era are feeling appropriately stupid today. 'Please don't take away our precious Soviet Union! - We demand the annihilation of all life on Earth!'"

"Silence is a statement that is open to gross misinterpretation"

"Liberalism is financed by the dividends from Conservatism"

"It's easy to idealize someone that you don't know"

"Fighting a war on terrorism is like fighting against crime. We can never hope to eradicate crime, so we shouldn't bother fighting it"

"Don't judge a book by its thickness either"

"Anything on paper is obsolete!"

"Time is a resource whose supply is inversely proportional to its demand"

"Never underestimate the power of a simple tool"

"My to-do list is so long that it doesn't have an end; it has an event horizon"

"I think; therefore, I am the center of the universe"

"I am woman, hear me bitch"

"Don't trust anyone who has been in school for the past 24 consecutive years"

"Yeah, computers are going to take over the programming business because they have become so fast recently that they can solve the Halting Problem in five seconds flat"

"The only people I've ever heard saying that disagreeing with Bush, Cheney and Rumsfeld is un-American or treasonous are people who disagree with Bush, Cheney and Rumsfeld"

"Organizations like the ACLU fought and won the good fight back in the 1960's, but it's clear that nowadays they've run out of useful things to do since they now spend most of their time defending the scum of the Earth from getting what they rightly deserve"

"From each according to his ability, to each according to his ability"

"Whoever invented double clicking should be shot in the head! Twice!"

"It's funny how social activists usually protest against the only things that have a credible chance of achieving the activists' goals"

"In order for a man to be truly evil, he must be a woman"

"If I gave a damn what other people think of me, I would be more like other people"

"Geez, all that money we waste on space exploration; just think how many bombs that would buy!"

"When anarchy is declared, the first thing we do, let's kill all the anarchists"

"Things always look better when you haven't seen them"

"1 + 1 = 2. Everything else is derived"

"'Programming' is a four-letter word"

"It's hardware that makes a machine fast. It's software that makes a fast machine slow"