Facts about Jay London

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Summary

Jay London is a famous Comedian from USA, he/she is 120 years old and still alive, born .

Our collection contains 35 quotes who is written / told by Jay, under the main topics: Dad, Funny, Medical.

Famous quotes by Jay London (35)


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"My girlfriend bought me a down jacket, she said it fit my personality"
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"It all started when my dog began getting free roll over minutes"
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"I went to a record store and asked for 50 cent. They kicked me out for pan-handling"
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"I went out with a promiscuous impressionist - she did everybody"
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"I wanted to join the Army the sign said 'Be All That You Can Be', they told me it wasn't enough"
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"People read me but they don't subscribe"
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"I went to the store and bought lady fingers, when I got home I noticed one of the fingers was missing so I went back to the store and the manager was nice enough to give me the finger"
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"I wanted to take up music, so my father bought me a blunt instrument. He told me to knock myself out"
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"I saw a stationery store move"
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"Does anybody know what I'm doing up here?"
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"Do you know it was a year a ago today?"
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"Did you know that today will never be tomorrow"
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"After all these years I had the privilege of naming my private part, cause we have nicknames. So I named my private part pride... it's not much but at least I have my pride"
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"I was lonely driving here tonight so I hugged the road"
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"I saw a sign it said left lane closed so I went someplace else"
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"My boss told me to get my butt in gear. I told him I was shiftless"
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"I'm convinced my cockroaches have military training, I set off a roach bomb - they diffused it"
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"I told my therapist I was having nightmares about nuclear explosions. He said don't worry it's not the end of the world"
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"I recorded my hair this morning, tonight I'm watching the highlights"
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"A window of opportunity for me usually involves a rock"
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"A guy gave me a job at an information booth - no questions asked"
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"My whole family is lactose intolerant and when we take pictures we can't say cheese"
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"I went to a urologist - he told me I could go at any time"
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"I was going to buy a book on hair loss, but the pages kept falling out"
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"At Motel 6 in Amish Country I wonder if they leave the light on for you?"
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"I'm on performance enhancing drugs, so I may cause drowsiness"
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"I was born nine months premature"
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"I model irregular clothing"
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"I don't need to worry about identity theft because no one wants to be me"
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"My father would take me to the playground, and put me on mood swings"
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"I once dated a weather girl, we talked up a storm"
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"I wanted to take up music, so my father bought me a blunt instrument. He told me to knock myself out"
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"My father would take me to the playground, and put me on mood swings"
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"I recorded my hair this morning, tonight I'm watching the highlights"
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"I went to the doctor and he said I had acute appendicitis, and I said compared to who?"


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