Arnold H. Glasgow
Bryant H. McGill
Charles F. Kettering
Chris Van Allsburg
Henry Ward Beecher
J. B. Priestley
Jerry B. Jenkins
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Thomas A. Edison
SummaryJoan Rivers is a famous Comedian from USA, she is 83 years old and still alive, born June 8, 1933.
BiographyAmerican actress, hostess programs, talk-show host and businesswoman.
Rivers's first marriage was in 1955 to James Sanger, the marriage only lasted six months. Her second marriage was on July 15, 1965 to Edgar Rosenberg, who committed suicide in 1987. Their only child, Melissa Warburg Rosenberg (now known as Melissa Rivers), was born on January 20, 1968.
Zodiac etc.She is born under the zodiac gemini, who is known for Communication, Indecision, Inquisitive, Intelligent, Changeable. Our collection contains 31 quotes who is written / told by Joan, under the main topics: Diet, Funny, Wisdom.
Related authors: Melissa Rivers
Source / external links:http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joan_Rivers
Famous quotes by Joan Rivers (31)
"Don't follow any advice, no matter how good, until you feel as deeply in your spirit as you think in your mind that the counsel is wise"
"Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is God's gift, that's why we call it the present"
"I'm Jewish. I don't work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor"
"I wish I had a twin, so I could know what I'd look like without plastic surgery"
"I told my mother-in-law that my house was her house, and she said, 'Get the hell off my property.'"
"I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio"
"I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again"
"I don't excercise. If God had wanted me to bend over, he would have put diamonds on the floor"
"I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was 'the man goes on top and the woman underneath.' For three years my husband and I slept in bunk beds"
"Elizabeth Taylor has more chins than the Chinese telephone directory"
"Don't tell your kids you had an easy birth or they won't respect you. For years I used to wake up my daughter and say, 'Melissa you ripped me to shreds. Now go back to sleep.'"
"A man can sleep around, no questions asked, but if a woman makes nineteen or twenty mistakes she's a tramp"
"Thank God we're living in a country where the sky's the limit, the stores are open late and you can shop in bed thanks to television"
"She doesn't understand the concept of Roman numerals. She thought we just fought in world war eleven"
"People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made"
"Our natures are a lot like oil, mix us with anything else, and we strive to swim on top"
"My routines come out of total unhappiness. My audiences are my group therapy"
"My obstetrician was so dumb that when I gave birth he forgot to cut the cord. For a year that kid followed me everywhere. It was like having a dog on a leash"
"It's been so long since I've had sex I've forgotten who ties up whom"