Facts about Rodney Dangerfield

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Summary

Rodney Dangerfield was a famous Comedian from USA, who lived between November 22, 1921 and October 5, 2004. He/she became 82 years old.

Zodiac etc.

He/she is born under the zodiac sagittarius, who is known for Philosophical, Motion, Experimentation, Optimism. Our collection contains 51 quotes who is written / told by Rodney, under the main topics: Funny, Sports.

Here is some other popular authors who lived in the same timeframe: George Will, Khaleda Zia, Anne Baxter, Clive James, Tom Metzger, Robert F. Kennedy, Joe Namath, Willie Mays, Mike Ditka, Martin Yan, Didier Drogba, Řystein Stray Spetalen, Billy Zane, Robert Indiana, Whitfield Diffie, Twyla Tharp, Jim Rohn, Richard Scaife, John Glenn, Maria Cantwell

Famous quotes by Rodney Dangerfield (51)


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"I worked in a pet store and people would ask how big I would get"
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"I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out"
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"I was so ugly my mother used to feed me with a sling shot"
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"What a dog I got, his favorite bone is in my arm"
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"We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations - we're doing everything we can to keep our marriage together"
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"This morning when I put on my underwear I could hear the fruit-of-the-loom guys laughing at me"
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"The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest"
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"Some dog I got too. We call him Egypt. Because in every room he leaves a pyramid"
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"One year they asked me to be poster boy - for birth control"
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"On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me"
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"My wife's jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was"
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"My wife was afraid of the dark... then she saw me naked and now she's afraid of the light"
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"My wife wants sex in the back of the car and she wants me to drive"
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"Most of the arguments to which I am party fall somewhat short of being impressive, knowing to the fact that neither I nor my opponent knows what we are talking about"
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"Men who do things without being told draw the most wages"
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"Life is just a bowl of pits"
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"It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass"
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"If it wasn't for pick-pockets I'd have no sex life at all"
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"I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender"
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"I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet"
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"I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. he told me to wear a brown tie"
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"I saved a girl from being attacked last night. I controlled myself"
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"I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof"
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"I met the surgeon general - he offered me a cigarette"
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"I looked up my family tree and found three dogs using it"
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"I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap"
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"I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her"
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"I have good looking kids. Thank goodness my wife cheats on me"
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"I had plenty of pimples as a kid. One day I fell asleep in the library. When I woke up, a blind man was reading my face"
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"I get no respect. The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest"
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"I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people"
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"I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it"
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"I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio"
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"I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio"
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"I came from a real tough neighborhood. I put my hand in some cement and felt another hand"
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"At twenty a man is full of fight and hope. He wants to reform the world. When he is seventy he still wants to reform the world, but he know he can't"
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"Acting deals with very delicate emotions. It is not putting up a mask. Each time an actor acts he does not hide; he exposes himself"
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"A girl phoned me the other day and said... 'Come on over, there's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was home"
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"My marriage is on the rocks again, yeah, my wife just broke up with her boyfriend"
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"Yeah, I know I'm ugly... I said to a bartender, 'Make me a zombie.' He said 'God beat me to it.'"
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"My wife met me at the door the other night in a sexy negligee. Unfortunately, she was just coming home"
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"My uncle's dying wish - he wanted me on his lap. He was in the electric chair"
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"When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up"
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"When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them"
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"With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to 'the best woman a man ever had.' The waiter joined me"
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"My mother had morning sickness after I was born"
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"My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet"
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"My cousins gay, he went to London only to find out that Big Ben was a clock"
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"What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bee and he told me about the butcher and my wife"
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"I'm taking Viagra and drinking prune juice - I don't know if I'm coming or going"
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"I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I've just had a mirror put over my kitchen table"


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