"As I've explained to my wife many times, you have to kill your wife or mistress to get on the front page of the papers"

This quote by Julian Barnes is an amusing method of expressing the idea that mind-blowing news stories are often what make it to the front page of newspapers. It is a tongue-in-cheek comment on the media's tendency to concentrate on stunning and remarkable stories, instead of more mundane news. Barnes is suggesting that if one wishes to make it to the front page of the papers, they must do something outrageous, such as killing their better half or girlfriend. This quote is an amusing way of highlighting the media's focus on sensationalism and the lengths individuals need to go to in order to get attention. It is likewise a pointer that the media typically sensationalizes stories in order to draw attention and readership.