"I was totally devastated for four years in the mid '60s when l tried to buck the tide"

In this quote, Tommy Rettig expresses his deep psychological turmoil throughout a four-year duration in the mid-1960s. The expression "absolutely devastated" recommends that he was totally overwhelmed and emotionally drained during this time. Using the word "buck" implies that he was attempting to withstand or break something, potentially a societal or cultural trend. This might indicate that Rettig was struggling to find his place or identity during a time of substantial change and upheaval. The phrase "the tide" could also represent the frustrating force of social pressure and expectations. In general, Rettig's words convey a sense of individual battle and disappointment throughout a turbulent time in his life.