"You can never betray the people who are dead, so you go on being a public Jew; the dead can't answer slurs, but I'm here. I would love to think that Jesus wants me for a sunbeam, but he doesn't"

In this quote, Anita Brookner reflects on the idea of being a "public Jew" and the weight of continuing the tradition of those who have actually died. She acknowledges that the dead can not protect themselves versus insults and discrimination, but as a living individual, she is still here to represent her identity and heritage. However, she also expresses a sense of disappointment in not being accepted or accepted by others, even by the figure of Jesus. Regardless of her longing to be seen as a positive force, she acknowledges that she might never be fully accepted or understood.