Quote of the Day: Olin Miller on Wit & Attitude

In the early 20th century, an era of etiquette manuals, “little white lies,” and public manners designed to smooth private tensions, polite society often treated truth as optional when it threatened harmony. That cultural atmosphere still feels urgent in 2026, when our relationships are mediated by receipts, screenshots, and an always-on demand to “say what you mean.” Against that backdrop, Olin Miller offers a line that lands like a dare: “A man who will not lie to a woman has very little consideration for her feelings.”

Miller isn’t handing out permission slips for deceit so much as interrogating the moral vanity of blunt honesty. There’s a kind of self-congratulation in “I’m just being truthful” that ignores the power dynamics of intimacy: who gets to speak, who absorbs the impact, who pays the emotional bill. His point is uncomfortable precisely because it admits what most couples learn the hard way, communication is not a courtroom, and accuracy alone is not the same thing as care.

Still, the quote comes with a barb. It risks treating women, or anyone, as too fragile for reality, a paternalism disguised as gallantry. The better reading is broader and more demanding: consider whether your “truth” is serving love or merely serving your ego. A tactful omission, a softened critique, a redirected conversation can be empathy; a habitual lie becomes a quiet form of control.

Olin Miller, an influential American writer and humorist, made a career of watching ordinary people negotiate pride, romance, and social performance. His witty essays and satirical observations give him standing to notice how often we use “principle” as cover for insensitivity.

May 27, 2023 fell on a Saturday at the start of summer gatherings, weddings, graduations, reunions, where small talk tests our humor and our restraint. Apply Miller’s provocation by asking one question before you speak: will this truth build clarity, or will it simply leave a bruise?