Quote of the Day: Rita Rudner on Love

Notice the verb “annoy,” not “tease” or “challenge.” “Tease” sounds curated, even cute; “challenge” pretends every irritation is self-improvement. “Annoy” is blunt, domestic, and unglamorous, the kind of word you only use when you’re close enough to stop performing. That’s why the line lands: “I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.”

Rita Rudner’s joke works because it sneaks a truth past our romantic marketing. Marriage isn’t sustained on candlelight and perfectly timed gestures; it’s sustained on proximity. Proximity creates friction, someone loads the dishwasher “wrong,” someone sighs too loudly, someone tells the same story. In a weaker bond, those moments feel like evidence. In a stronger one, they’re just weather.

“Annoy,” here, isn’t contempt. It’s permission. It’s the small, stubborn proof that two people can show up unfiltered, with quirks intact, and still be chosen. The ability to mildly irritate each other, and stay, signals a relationship sturdy enough to hold everyday reality. That’s the paradox: the more intimate the partnership, the less it needs to be impressive. It needs to be durable, funny, and forgiving, especially when love shows up in sweatpants rather than poetry.

Rita Rudner earned her authority the hard way: from dancer to sharp-edged comedian, actress, and writer, honing observational precision on stages from television to a long, defining run in Las Vegas. Her craft is noticing what we edit out, and saying it cleanly.

I can’t reliably point to a single major historic marker tied to Thursday, September 14, 2023, without guessing. So take the quote as a practical assignment for today: treat one minor irritation as an invitation to humor, name it, laugh at it, and choose the person anyway.