Humor & Wit: Savage Quotes

"Your words smell of corpses"

Georg Buchner, Dramatist

"I don't like Bush. I don't trust him. I don't like his record. He's stupid. He's lazy"

Cher, Musician

"Comedy always works best when it is mean-spirited"

John Cleese, Actor

"Dive on them and squash them if you must"

Jeremy Taylor, Clergyman

"You can love me or you can hate me"

Dennis Rodman, Athlete

"Bitch, don't kill my vibe"

Kendrick Lamar, Musician

"My attitude toward men who mess around is simple: If you find 'em, kill 'em"

Loretta Lynn, Musician

"Last guys don't finish nice"

Saul Alinsky, Activist

"I almost bumped into Alec Baldwin and then turned around and Paris Hilton was standing there. And I was like, 'Look, it's stupid spoiled whore'"

Trey Parker, Artist

"Duran always disturbs me. The guy is just weird. Before our first fight, both Duran and his wife gave my wife the finger"

Sugar Ray Leonard, Athlete

"Arafat contradicts himself every five minutes. He always plays the double-cross, lies even if you ask him what time it is"

Oriana Fallaci, Journalist

"A terrible animal, indeed, is an unbridled woman"

John Lothrop Motley, Historian

"I'll name names, you know I won't hold back"

Steven Cojocaru, Critic

"I'll squeeze the cider out of your adam's apple"

Moe Howard, Actor

"I never apologized for anything in my life. The only thing I'm sorry about is putting a curse on Roger Ebert's colon. If a fat pig like Roger Ebert doesn't like my movie, then I'm sorry for him"

Vincent Gallo, Actor

"God, George Bush makes me want to slash my wrists. He's so embarrassing I have to leave the room when he's on the news. What a monkey"

Margot Kidder, Actress

"If he wants to blow his head off, let him. I don't give a damn about Jim Bakker"

Jessica Hahn, Celebrity

"If you have nothing to say for yourself, then kindly keep your mouth shut!"

Roland Freisler, Politician

"People who wear fur smell like a wet dog if they're in the rain. And they look fat and gross"

Pamela Anderson, Actress

"You're a good example of why some animals eat their young!"

Jim Samuels, Writer

"Pity? You don't want to be pitied because you're a cripple in a wheelchair? Stay in your house!"

Jerry Lewis, Comedian

"I beg you, don't embarrass me, motherfucker"

Sabrina Carpenter, Musician

"He's so ugly he should have to wear an oxygen mask"

Mickey Rivers, Athlete

"When a guy knocks ya down, never get up unless he's gonna kill ya"

Gennaro Angiulo, Criminal

"Fox News is hated because they're elitists, and the worst winners television's ever seen"

Keith Olbermann, Journalist

"Imagine this guy hits Mike Hammer over the head with a wooden coathanger and knocks him out. You hit Mike Hammer over the head with a wooden coathanger, He'll beat the crap out of you"

Mickey Spillane, Author

"Nothing's worse than a woman know-it-all!"

Tom DeLay, Politician

"The true reason of Ms. Rice's attack against Russia is very simple. Condoleezza Rice is a very cruel, offended woman who lacks men's attention"

Vladimir Zhirinovsky, Politician

"If I said to most of the people who auditioned, 'Good job, awesome, well done,' it would have made me actually look and feel ridiculous. It's quite obvious most of the people who turned up for this audition were hopeless!"

Simon Cowell, Entertainer

"Yeah, we're sweet but savage, and I think a lot of Canadians are that way"

Bruce McCulloch, Actor

"The real boneheads are the libertarians"

Peter Brimelow, Journalist

"I love when people talk trash"

Joel Embiid, Athlete

"You know what, rip me off once, shame on me. But twice? I'm coming after you and taking back what's mine"

Billy Mays, Businessman

"First of all, I would like to clear the air on one thing. Alison has slept with more men than Amanda; Sydney has slept with more men than Amanda; I think Matt has slept with more men than Amanda"

Heather Locklear, Actress

"I don't know how this company got the name National Shakespeare Company, because it was literally like retards employing retards"

Rob Corddry, Comedian

"If anybody doubts my loyalty to my country, I'll punch him in the nose, and I don't care how old he is"

William Wyler, Director

"If you just want to be a star, go away"

Jenifer Lewis, Actress

"Most chick singers say 'if you hurt me, I'll die'... I say, 'if you hurt me, I'll kick your ass'"

Pat Benatar, Musician

"When I get mean, I get mean"

Mick Mars, Musician

"Before I put another notch in my lipstick case, you better make sure you put me in my place"

Pat Benatar, Musician

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