Famous quotes by Authors

"Auto racing is boring except when a car is going at least 172 miles per hour upside down"

Dave Barry, Author

"Your modern teenager is not about to listen to advice from an old person, defined as a person who remembers when there was no Velcro"

Dave Barry, Author

"What may seem depressing or even tragic to one person may seem like an absolute scream to another person, especially if he has had between four and seven beers"

Dave Barry, Author

"The world is full of strange phenomena that cannot be explained by the laws of logic or science. Dennis Rodman is only one example"

Dave Barry, Author

"The word user is the word used by the computer professional when they mean idiot"

Dave Barry, Author

"The Sixties are now considered a historical period, just like the Roman Empire"

Dave Barry, Author

"The simple truth is that balding African-American men look cool when they shave their heads, whereas balding white men look like giant thumbs"

Dave Barry, Author

"The real threat to whales is whaling, which has endangered many whale species"

Dave Barry, Author

"The problem with writing about religion is that you run the risk of offending sincerely religious people, and then they come after you with machetes"

Dave Barry, Author

"The only kind of seafood I trust is the fish stick, a totally featureless fish that doesn't have eyeballs or fins"

Dave Barry, Author

"Skiers view snowboarders as a menace; snowboarders view skiers as Elmer Fudd"

Dave Barry, Author

"Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games in Chicago in January, only more intelligent"

Dave Barry, Author

"People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them"

Dave Barry, Author

"Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice"

Dave Barry, Author

"Newspaper readership is declining like crazy. In fact, there's a good chance that nobody is reading my column"

Dave Barry, Author

"If you were to open up a baby's head - and I am not for a moment suggesting that you should - you would find nothing but an enormous drool gland"

Dave Barry, Author

"If God had wanted us to be concerned for the plight of the toads, he would have made them cute and furry"

Dave Barry, Author

"I would not know how I am supposed to feel about many stories if not for the fact that the TV news personalities make sad faces for sad stories and happy faces for happy stories"

Dave Barry, Author

"I realize that I'm generalizing here, but as is often the case when I generalize, I don't care"

Dave Barry, Author

"I have been a gigantic Rolling Stones fan since approximately the Spanish-American War"

Dave Barry, Author

"I believe that we parents must encourage our children to become educated, so they can get into a good college that we cannot afford"

Dave Barry, Author

"A woman should be an illusion"

Ian Fleming, Author

"Tact: to lie about others as you would have them lie about you"

Oliver Herford, Author

"Only the young die good"

Oliver Herford, Author

"Men want a woman whom they can turn on and off like a light switch"

Ian Fleming, Author

"Modesty: the gentle art of enhancing your charm by pretending not to be aware of it"

Oliver Herford, Author

"What is my loftiest ambition? I've always wanted to throw an egg at an electric fan"

Oliver Herford, Author

"When I go abroad, I always sail from Boston because it is such a pleasant place to get away from"

Oliver Herford, Author

"Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure"

Oliver Herford, Author

"So much has been said and sung of beautiful young girls, why doesn't somebody wake up to the beauty of old women?"

Harriet Beecher Stowe, Author

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