Skip to main content
0
Quotes
People
Articles
SITE
Home
Quote of the Day
Handpicked
Guides
Occasions
Topics
Birthdays
ABOUT
About Us
Contact Us
Privacy Policy
Site Map
Subscribe
Guides
SITE
Home
Quote of the Day
Handpicked
Occasions
Topics
Birthdays
ABOUT
About Us
Contact Us
Privacy Policy
Site Map
Subscribe
Shortlist
0
Search FixQuotes
Search FixQuotes
Home
Quotes
Professions
Comedians (page 3)
Famous quotes by Comedians
Top 50
Quote of the Day
Finder
Topics
Handpicked
Nationalities
Professions
Random
"It's a naive domestic Burgundy without any breeding, but I think you'll be amused by its presumption"
James Thurber, Comedian
"It only takes a room of Americans for the English and Australians to realise how much we have in common"
Stephen Fry, Comedian
"Violence is a tool of the ignorant"
Flip Wilson, Comedian
"Canada is the essence of not being. Not English, not American, it is the mathematic of not being. And a subtle flavour - we're more like celery as a flavour"
Mike Myers, Comedian
"Be nice to people on your way up, because you meet them on your way down"
Jimmy Durante, Comedian
"There is no cannibalism in the British navy, absolutely none, and when I say none, I mean there is a certain amount"
Graham Chapman, Comedian
"Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time"
Steven Wright, Comedian
"Money couldn't buy friends, but you got a better class of enemy"
Spike Milligan, Comedian
"While playing golf today I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake"
Henny Youngman, Comedian
"Humor is just another defense against the universe"
Mel Brooks, Comedian
"Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything that's down can come up"
George Burns, Comedian
"If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door"
Milton Berle, Comedian
"As you get older, three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two"
Norman Wisdom, Comedian
"Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife"
Groucho Marx, Comedian
"A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five"
Groucho Marx, Comedian
""I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence?"
George Carlin, Comedian
"Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?"
George Carlin, Comedian
"Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist"
George Carlin, Comedian
"Drown in a cold vat of whiskey? Death, where is thy sting?"
W. C. Fields, Comedian
"Is a hippopotamus a hippopotamus, or just a really cool Opotamus?"
Mitch Hedberg, Comedian
"Every closed eye is not sleeping, and every open eye is not seeing"
Bill Cosby, Comedian
"There are two seasons in Scotland: June and winter"
Billy Connolly, Comedian
"You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a fruit fly and still have room enough for three caraway seeds and a producer's heart"
Fred Allen, Comedian
"A smile is a curve that sets everything straight"
Phyllis Diller, Comedian
"I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants"
A. Whitney Brown, Comedian
"I don't mean to sound bitter, cold, or cruel, but I am, so that's how it comes out"
Bill Hicks, Comedian
"It's easier to put on slippers than to carpet the whole world"
Al Franken, Comedian
"Military justice is to justice what military music is to music"
Groucho Marx, Comedian
"Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms"
Groucho Marx, Comedian
"What a nice night for an evening"
Steven Wright, Comedian
Previous page
Page 3 of 116
Next page
See the complete list of comedian people
