Famous quotes by Comedians

"If it's a good script, I'll do it. And if it's a bad script, and they pay me enough, I'll do it"

George Burns, Comedian

"Together with script writers Syd Green and Dick Hills, we worked on the comedy ideas for this series"

Eric Morecambe, Comedian

"Man is flying too fast for a world that is round. Soon he will catch up with himself in a great rear end collision"

James Thurber, Comedian

"Man has gone long enough, or even too long, without being man enough to face the simple truth that the trouble with man is man"

James Thurber, Comedian

"There is no exception to the rule that every rule has an exception"

James Thurber, Comedian

"The only rules comedy can tolerate are those of taste, and the only limitations those of libel"

James Thurber, Comedian

"The most dangerous food is wedding cake"

James Thurber, Comedian

"The laughter of man is more terrible than his tears, and takes more forms: hollow, heartless, mirthless, maniacal"

James Thurber, Comedian

"Don't get it right, just get it written"

James Thurber, Comedian

"Discussion in America means dissent"

James Thurber, Comedian

"I think that maybe if women and children were in charge we would get somewhere"

James Thurber, Comedian

"Last night I dreamed of a small consolation enjoyed only by the blind: Nobody knows the trouble I've not seen!"

James Thurber, Comedian

"I used to wake up at 4 A.M. and start sneezing, sometimes for five hours. I tried to find out what sort of allergy I had but finally came to the conclusion that it must be an allergy to consciousness"

James Thurber, Comedian

"A word to the wise is not sufficient if it doesn't make sense"

James Thurber, Comedian

"But what is all this fear of and opposition to Oblivion? What is the matter with the soft Darkness, the Dreamless Sleep?"

James Thurber, Comedian

"Boys are beyond the range of anybody's sure understanding, at least when they are between the ages of 18 months and 90 years"

James Thurber, Comedian

"A drawing is always dragged down to the level of its caption"

James Thurber, Comedian

"The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world; the humorist makes fun of himself, but in so doing, he identifies himself with people - that is, people everywhere, not for the purpose of taking them apart, but simply revealing their true nature"

James Thurber, Comedian

"The sanity of the average banquet speaker lasts about two and a half months; at the end of that time he begins to mutter to himself, and calls out in his sleep"

James Thurber, Comedian

"Sixty minutes of thinking of any kind is bound to lead to confusion and unhappiness"

James Thurber, Comedian

"My opposition to interviews lies in the fact that offhand answers have little value or grace of expression, and that such oral give and take helps to perpetuate the decline of the English language"

James Thurber, Comedian

"I'm 65 and I guess that puts me in with the geriatrics. But if there were fifteen months in every year, I'd only be 48. That's the trouble with us. We number everything. Take women, for example. I think they deserve to have more than twelve years between the ages of 28 and 40"

James Thurber, Comedian

"I am not a cat man, but a dog man, and all felines can tell this at a glance - a sharp, vindictive glance"

James Thurber, Comedian

"He who hesitates is sometimes saved"

James Thurber, Comedian

"You can fool too many of the people, too much of the time"

James Thurber, Comedian

"The nation that complacently and fearfully allows its artists and writers to become suspected rather than respected is no longer regarded as a nation possessed with humor or depth"

James Thurber, Comedian

"Sophistication might be described as the ability to cope gracefully with a situation involving the presence of a formidable menace to one's poise and prestige (such as the butler, or the man under the bed - but never the husband)"

James Thurber, Comedian

"It is better to have loafed and lost, than never to have loafed at all"

James Thurber, Comedian

"Comedy has to be done en clair. You can't blunt the edge of wit or the point of satire with obscurity. Try to imagine a famous witty saying that is not immediately clear"

James Thurber, Comedian

"The dog has got more fun out of Man than Man has got out of the dog, for the clearly demonstrable reason that Man is the more laughable of the two animals"

James Thurber, Comedian

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