Famous quotes by Comedians

"As long as one person lives in darkness, then it seems to be a responsibility to tell other people"

Bill Hicks, Comedian

"And if I can take part in it by transforming my own consciousness, then someone else's, I'm happy to do it"

Bill Hicks, Comedian

"Many people would no more think of entering journalism than the sewage business - which at least does us all some good"

Stephen Fry, Comedian

"Love in all eight tones and all five semitones of the word's full octave"

Stephen Fry, Comedian

"I think my view is that whenever you project into the future you're never likely to be accurate in the details or the paraphernalia and style"

Stephen Fry, Comedian

"I am a lover of truth, a worshipper of freedom, a celebrant at the altar of language and purity and tolerance"

Stephen Fry, Comedian

"You don't sit down and write a wish list about the person you are going to fall violently in love with. It just doesn't work like that"

Stephen Fry, Comedian

"That one can love another of the same gender, that is what the homophobe really cannot stand"

Stephen Fry, Comedian

"I think we have all experienced passion that is not in any sense reasonable"

Stephen Fry, Comedian

"I like to think of myself at home in the armchair, writing, smoking and occasionally wandering down the shop"

Stephen Fry, Comedian

"An original idea. That can't be too hard. The library must be full of them"

Stephen Fry, Comedian

"The company accountant is shy and retiring. He's shy a quarter of a million dollars. That's why he's retiring"

Milton Berle, Comedian

"I'd rather be a could-be if I cannot be an are; because a could-be is a maybe who is reaching for a star. I'd rather be a has-been than a might-have-been, by far; for a might have-been has never been, but a has was once an are"

Milton Berle, Comedian

"Old professors never die, they just lose their faculties"

Stephen Fry, Comedian

"Christmas to a child is the first terrible proof that to travel hopefully is better than to arrive"

Stephen Fry, Comedian

"There is so much we can learn from TV. It's a window on the world"

Stephen Fry, Comedian

"I've always had great respect for Paddington because he is amusingly English and eccentric. He is a great British institution and my generation grew up with the books and then Michael Horden's animations"

Stephen Fry, Comedian

"Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name"

Milton Berle, Comedian

"Taste every fruit of every tree in the garden at least once. It is an insult to creation not to experience it fully. Temperance is wickedness"

Stephen Fry, Comedian

"Oh, it takes a lot for me to walk out of a film"

Stephen Fry, Comedian

"No, I love the idea that someone changes. As an actor, it's always the thing that you look for. He is someone who starts off bright, cheerful and confident, and then has everything taken away from him. It's a wonderful journey to take"

Stephen Fry, Comedian

"Moving from chair to chair, from coffee machine to coffee machine is the limit of my action in most films. But I enjoy being cast in them because I love watching them"

Stephen Fry, Comedian

"It was extremely important to show that Wilde's sexuality was not just some intellectual idea. It was real, and it was about the human body. To just have mentioned it and not shown it would have been, I think, peculiar and wrong"

Stephen Fry, Comedian

"Having a great intellect is no path to being happy"

Stephen Fry, Comedian

"It's rather splendid to think of all those great men and women who appear to have presented symptoms that allow us to describe them as bipolar. Whether it's Hemingway, Van Gogh... Robert Schumann has been mentioned... Virginia Woolf, Sylvia Plath... some of them with rather grim ends"

Stephen Fry, Comedian

"I'd probably want to teach at university, because children would drive me insane. I suspect it would be English literature, Shakespeare and so forth. I've always been deeply, deeply in love with that kind of thing"

Stephen Fry, Comedian

"I think the fact that I'm so well known to be gay makes it very difficult to have a convincing relationship with a woman on screen. It wouldn't be at all difficult for me to kiss a woman - I'll kiss a frog if you like"

Stephen Fry, Comedian

"I get an urge, like a pregnant elephant, to go away and give birth to a book"

Stephen Fry, Comedian

"As someone who worked hard for a Labour victory in the 90s, do I regret it? Not really. It was bound to happen. And it'll happen with the next government, and the one after it. Because all governments serve us. They serve the filth"

Stephen Fry, Comedian

"I live to laugh, and I laugh to live"

Milton Berle, Comedian

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