Famous quotes by Comedians

"I'm currently in an interesting correspondence with a nun about forgiveness"

Julian Clary, Comedian

"I was lightweight - that was the whole point of me"

Julian Clary, Comedian

"I thought they were staring at me because I was gay. But it was because I was on the telly"

Julian Clary, Comedian

"I thought a dignified thing to do would be to live in the country by the time I'm 50 and write books"

Julian Clary, Comedian

"I think Australians like a bit of vulgarity"

Julian Clary, Comedian

"I live in a kind of gay bubble. I live in a gay house, I drive a gay car. I eat gay food"

Julian Clary, Comedian

"I knew that this was what I wanted to talk about on stage. There was no point being coy about it, or pretending that I wasn't gay. That was the substance of my whole act. If you took that away, there would be nothing left"

Julian Clary, Comedian

"I get just as much of a thrill out of constructing a good sentence that gets a laugh at the end, as I do from a joke"

Julian Clary, Comedian

"I didn't think of myself as a tart, but I wouldn't argue with anyone who did"

Julian Clary, Comedian

"I am full of gratitude for my life - and for this house"

Julian Clary, Comedian

"However light-hearted you try to be about it, the loss of youth, and everything that goes with it, is quite a trauma"

Julian Clary, Comedian

"A lot of gay men have a lot of sex. That's what we do. But I've stopped all that-the revolving door into my bedroom. Promiscuity. That was of its day, really"

Julian Clary, Comedian

"The Constitution is not a suicide pact"

Richard Belzer, Comedian

"It's not that I don't appreciate music - I love music, but I don't like to be part of the process. When you're making music, you're creating something that's invisible and that's the thrill of it"

Richard Belzer, Comedian

"Animals don't have anyone to protect them. If we don't stand up, the people who are harming animals will never get stopped"

Paul Rodriguez, Comedian

"In a more intellectually rigorous age, I wouldn't be talked about as a satirist at all. I would just be a topical comedian"

Rory Bremner, Comedian

"I'm supposed to be the director of a television company, but I've only ever seen that company as a vehicle for making the kind of programmes we wanted to make, getting our ideas on the screen"

Rory Bremner, Comedian

"The beauty about the D-list is that people who are on it probably don't know they are"

Kathy Griffin, Comedian

"That's what I loved about Temptation Island. I don't even know why they did it"

Kathy Griffin, Comedian

"No, I love Montreal... I think I love Montreal more than Montreal loves me... I love the food there"

Kathy Griffin, Comedian

"I think a Celebrity Survivor would be great"

Kathy Griffin, Comedian

"I don't like doing movies, period. Movies are hard. I like TV"

Kathy Griffin, Comedian

"But if something funny happens, I can't resist. I have to tell the people"

Kathy Griffin, Comedian

"When I see the Ten Most Wanted Lists... I always have this thought: If we'd made them feel wanted earlier, they wouldn't be wanted now"

Eddie Cantor, Comedian

"I lost that excitement I had when I first started out. It was all about the need to just get a job, and so I found the joy again when I was writing Deuce Bigelow. I was laughing so hard, and along with my writing partner at the time, simply laughing until we cried"

Rob Schneider, Comedian

"So, to recap: we may or may not be going to war with Iraq because Saddam may or may not have weapons of mass destruction, which he may or may not use, or pass to other terrorists groups with whom he may or may not have links"

Rory Bremner, Comedian

"But let's be clear. We're talking about a country where there's no opposition. As leader he can ignore Parliament and - sorry that's Tony Blair isn't it? Um, so he doesn't even have to ask the country before he goes to war - sorry that's still Tony Blair"

Rory Bremner, Comedian

"I'm on every worst-dressed list imaginable"

Kathy Griffin, Comedian

"Have I gone too far?"

Kathy Griffin, Comedian

"We were watching the first series recently, and it has a charm, a kind of amateur charm. At that point we didn't involve ourselves technically at all - we just messed about and told our jokes - and it looks a bit like that"

Jennifer Saunders, Comedian

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