Famous quotes by Directors

"I want to tell you a terrific story about oral contraception. I asked this girl to sleep with me and she said 'No.'"

Woody Allen, Director

"I think being funny is not anyone's first choice"

Woody Allen, Director

"I ran into Isosceles. He had a great idea for a new triangle!"

Woody Allen, Director

"Harvard makes mistakes too, you know. Kissinger taught there"

Woody Allen, Director

"Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it"

Woody Allen, Director

"Dying is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down"

Woody Allen, Director

"Comedy just pokes at problems, rarely confronts them squarely. Drama is like a plate of meat and potatoes, comedy is rather the dessert, a bit like meringue"

Woody Allen, Director

"Basically, my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come in and sink my boats"

Woody Allen, Director

"As the poet said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on"

Woody Allen, Director

"To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition"

Woody Allen, Director

"Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once"

Woody Allen, Director

"The talent for being happy is appreciating and liking what you have, instead of what you don't have"

Woody Allen, Director

"Students achieving Oneness will move on to Twoness"

Woody Allen, Director

"Some guy hit my fender, and I told him, 'Be fruitful and multiply,' but not in those words"

Woody Allen, Director

"Man consists of two parts, his mind and his body, only the body has more fun"

Woody Allen, Director

"Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television"

Woody Allen, Director

"I don't think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear in my crib"

Woody Allen, Director

"I don't have to 'freedom-kiss' my wife when what I really want to do is French-kiss her"

Woody Allen, Director

"I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it's the government"

Woody Allen, Director

"I am two with nature"

Woody Allen, Director

"I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose"

Woody Allen, Director

"Pretty much anything you laughed at in the second half of the 20th century can be traced back to Your Show of Shows"

Rob Reiner, Director

"The script is like music to me. I approach it like it's a musical piece and I hear how it's supposed to sound when people say the words. There's rhythms and there's intonations and things, and so, when somebody comes in and hits the notes that I hear, I go okay. Or they come close enough, and then I'll say, Well, how about you try it like this? and if they have a good ear and they can pick it up, then I think, okay, they've got it"

Rob Reiner, Director

"I'm a huge fan of Jonathan Winters. He's influenced everyone who's ever done improvisational comedy. You look to Jonathan Winters for inspiration. He paved the way"

Rob Reiner, Director

"Albert [Brooks] was rare in that he could make adults laugh. He was a prodigy. At age 15 and 16, he could make my dad laugh uncontrollably. And whenever we had parties, some of the funniest people of my generation - whether it was Billy Crystal or Robin Williams or John Belushi - would be doing shtick"

Rob Reiner, Director

"Hollywood is one of those places where, traditionally, money has come from - along with New York, Texas, Florida, Silicon Valley in northern California and the unions. But because of the Internet and the way campaigns are financed these days, you don't need traditional financing as much as you used to - and Barack Obama has tapped into that in a big way. But at the end of the day, people in Hollywood care more about [the presidency] than just the trappings of it and the surface type stuff. They care about the issues"

Rob Reiner, Director

"Women are more in touch with their feelings, they're more emotionally developed, they know what's important in life, and the men run around like idiots trying to figure that out until they meet a woman that can show them what's important"

Rob Reiner, Director

"With the films I've done, I've written on them, I've acted in some of them. And even ones I haven't acted in, I've acted them out just to be sure another actor can do them"

Rob Reiner, Director

"I guess as I get older, I'm kind of getting drawn to the things that I really love the most, which is trying to figure out ways of blending politics with humor, and making it interesting. So I don't know if anybody's interested in this stuff, but I like it, so I get involved with it"

Rob Reiner, Director

"I think I have a finely tuned sense of humor. I think just being around it and growing up in it... My dad and Mel Brooks and Norman Lear. These are the people I grew up around"

Rob Reiner, Director

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