Facts about Joe E. Lewis

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Summary

Joe E. Lewis is a famous Comedian from USA, he/she is still alive and was born .

Our collection contains 25 quotes who is written / told by Joe.

Famous quotes by Joe E. Lewis (25)


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"There's only one thing money won't buy, and that is poverty"
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"Show me a friend in need and I'll show you a pest"
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"I drink to forget I drink"
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"I always wake up at the crack of ice"
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"They had me on the operating table all day. They looked into my stomach, my gall bladder, they examined everything inside of me. Know what they decided? I need glasses"
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"It pays to get drunk with the best people"
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"I don't drink any more than the man next to me, and the man next to me is Dean Martin"
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"I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink"
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"You only live once - but if you work it right, once is enough"
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"The way taxes are, you might as well marry for love"
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"You are only young once, and if you work it right, once is enough"
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"If you want to make a dangerous man your friend, let him do you a favor"
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"I've been on such a losing streak that if I had been around I would have taken General Custer and given points"
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"I play in the low 80s. If it's any hotter than that, I won't play"
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"Whenever someone asks me if I want water with my Scotch, I say I'm thirsty, not dirty"
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"We can afford almost any mistake once"
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"Show me a man with both feet on the ground and I'll show you a man who can't get his pants on"
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"A man is never drunk if he can lay on the floor without holding on"
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"I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster"
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"Show me a man with very little money and I will show you a bum"
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"I'm still chasing girls. I don't remember what for, but I'm still chasing them"
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"I don't like money actually, but it quiets the nerves"
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"It doesn't matter whether you are rich or poor - as long as you've got money"
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"I would take a bomb, but I can't stand the noise"
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"Adlai Stevenson has a genius for saying the right thing, at the right time, to the wrong people"


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