Abdul Qadeer Khan
Charles F. Kettering
Chris Van Allsburg
Corrie Ten Boom
Jerry B. Jenkins
Linda M. Godwin
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Famous quotes by Comedians
"Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?"
"Like everyone else who makes the mistake of getting older, I begin each day with coffee and obituaries"
"Women don't want to hear what you think. Women want to hear what they think - in a deeper voice"
"Dachshunds are ideal dogs for small children, as they are already stretched and pulled to such a length that the child cannot do much harm one way or the other"
"A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down"
"I don't know nothing about no marriages or nothing. I ain't even never been to a wedding"
"I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that"
"It's weird, I never wish anything bad upon anybody, except two or three old girlfriends"
"A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing"
"My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to"
"I intend to live forever. So far, so good"
"A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it"
"Look, I don't want to wax philosophic, but I will say that if you're alive you've got to flap your arms and legs, you've got to jump around a lot, for life is the very opposite of death, and therefore you must at very least think noisy and colorfully, or you're not alive"
"Raising children is an incredibly hard and risky business in which no cumulative wisdom is gained: each generation repeats the mistakes the previous one made"
"Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can survive it"
"There is no labor a person does that is undignified; if they do it right"
"There is hope for the future because God has a sense of humor and we are funny to God"
"The truth is that parents are not really interested in justice. They just want quiet"
"Nothing separates the generations more than music. By the time a child is eight or nine, he has developed a passion for his own music that is even stronger than his passions for procrastination and weird clothes"
"Nothing I've ever done has given me more joys and rewards than being a father to my children"
"No matter how calmly you try to referee, parenting will eventually produce bizarre behavior, and I'm not talking about the kids. Their behavior is always normal"
"My childhood should have taught me lessons for my own fatherhood, but it didn't because parenting can only be learned by people who have no children"
"Sex education may be a good idea in the schools, but I don't believe the kids should be given homework"
"Parents are not interested in justice, they're interested in peace and quiet"
"Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge"
"It isn't a matter of black is beautiful as much as it is white is not all that's beautiful"
"In order to succeed, your desire for success should be greater than your fear of failure"
"Immortality is a long shot, I admit. But somebody has to be first"
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