"A gentleman is one who never hurts anyone's feelings unintentionally"
About this Quote
That sly pivot matches the atmosphere Wilde wrote in: late-Victorian London, where reputation functioned like currency and conversation like a parlor sport. A "gentleman" was less a measure of inner virtue than a performance that kept class boundaries intact. Wilde, a master of drawing-room combat, treats politeness as both camouflage and weapon. You can glide through society without collateral damage, or you can wound with surgical precision and still look impeccable doing it.
The subtext is also autobiographical in the way Wilde often is without confessing. As someone who moved through elite spaces under constant scrutiny, he knew how quickly a misplaced remark could become an indictment. The line reads as a survival manual for a world that punishes impropriety more harshly than malice, and where the gravest offense is not being cruel, but being crude.
It works because it refuses the comforting story that decorum equals decency. Wilde makes the "gentleman" a tactician: he doesn't promise you a better heart, only better aim.
Quote Details
| Topic | Kindness |
|---|---|
| Source | Help us find the source |
| Cite | Cite this Quote |
Citation Formats
APA Style (7th ed.)
Wilde, Oscar. (2026, January 14). A gentleman is one who never hurts anyone's feelings unintentionally. FixQuotes. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/a-gentleman-is-one-who-never-hurts-anyones-13727/
Chicago Style
Wilde, Oscar. "A gentleman is one who never hurts anyone's feelings unintentionally." FixQuotes. January 14, 2026. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/a-gentleman-is-one-who-never-hurts-anyones-13727/.
MLA Style (9th ed.)
"A gentleman is one who never hurts anyone's feelings unintentionally." FixQuotes, 14 Jan. 2026, https://fixquotes.com/quotes/a-gentleman-is-one-who-never-hurts-anyones-13727/. Accessed 4 Feb. 2026.







