"A good marriage is one which allows for change and growth in the individuals and in the way they express their love"
About this Quote
Buck came of age between eras, writing across cultures and watching how institutions - family, religion, nation - can turn virtue into rigidity. The line reads like a rebuttal to the marriage-as-stability ideal, the one that treats adulthood as a final form and spouses as custodians of each other's permanence. Her syntax is almost legalistic ("allows for"), as if she's rewriting the terms: the point isn't romance as a constant feeling, but a structure flexible enough to survive the fact that people aren't constant.
The subtext is a critique of possessiveness dressed up as devotion. Many marriages fail not because love evaporates, but because one partner's growth is experienced as betrayal, a new dialect interpreted as disloyalty. Buck offers a different ethic: love as adaptive practice, not a vow to remain intelligible forever.
It's also an author's insight. Novelists know characters either evolve or become caricatures. Buck applies that narrative rule to intimacy: a marriage that forbids revision traps two protagonists in the same scene until resentment becomes the only plot left.
Quote Details
| Topic | Marriage |
|---|---|
| Source | Help us find the source |
| Cite |
Citation Formats
APA Style (7th ed.)
Buck, Pearl S. (2026, January 15). A good marriage is one which allows for change and growth in the individuals and in the way they express their love. FixQuotes. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/a-good-marriage-is-one-which-allows-for-change-151965/
Chicago Style
Buck, Pearl S. "A good marriage is one which allows for change and growth in the individuals and in the way they express their love." FixQuotes. January 15, 2026. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/a-good-marriage-is-one-which-allows-for-change-151965/.
MLA Style (9th ed.)
"A good marriage is one which allows for change and growth in the individuals and in the way they express their love." FixQuotes, 15 Jan. 2026, https://fixquotes.com/quotes/a-good-marriage-is-one-which-allows-for-change-151965/. Accessed 12 Feb. 2026.









