"A good motto is: use friendliness but do not use your friends"
About this Quote
The subtext is a warning about the seductions of instrumental thinking. Friendliness can be method without being a con. It can be the open hand that makes communities possible. But friendships, for Crane, are not resources to be mined. When you start tallying favors, networking opportunities, and introductions as if people were coins in your pocket, you haven't just behaved badly - you've quietly rewritten what friendship is for.
As a clergyman writing in an era when civic clubs, business boosterism, and self-improvement literature were intertwining, Crane is pushing back against the early 20th-century drift toward social efficiency. He's offering an ethic meant to survive modern hustle: be socially skilled, yes, but keep one sacred category where love and loyalty aren't leveraged. The line lands because it anticipates the contemporary anxiety about "networking" swallowing the last honest forms of care.
Quote Details
| Topic | Friendship |
|---|---|
| Source | Help us find the source |
| Cite | Cite this Quote |
Citation Formats
APA Style (7th ed.)
Crane, Frank. (n.d.). A good motto is: use friendliness but do not use your friends. FixQuotes. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/a-good-motto-is-use-friendliness-but-do-not-use-59992/
Chicago Style
Crane, Frank. "A good motto is: use friendliness but do not use your friends." FixQuotes. Accessed February 2, 2026. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/a-good-motto-is-use-friendliness-but-do-not-use-59992/.
MLA Style (9th ed.)
"A good motto is: use friendliness but do not use your friends." FixQuotes, https://fixquotes.com/quotes/a-good-motto-is-use-friendliness-but-do-not-use-59992/. Accessed 2 Feb. 2026.










