"A liberal is a person who believes that water can be made to run uphill. A conservative is someone who believes everybody should pay for his water. I'm somewhere in between: I believe water should be free, but that water flows downhill"
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The conservative, meanwhile, isn’t cast as a villain so much as an accountant with a moral theory. “Everybody should pay for his water” collapses a whole worldview into one sentence: responsibility as fairness, payment as proof of virtue, the market as the only neutral referee. White needles the punitive edge in that posture: if water is life, insisting on payment isn’t just prudence; it’s an ideological willingness to let thirst teach lessons.
Then he lands his real position with the slyness of a working reporter: reject both fantasy and moralizing. “Water should be free” signals a social-democratic instinct for baseline provision, while “water flows downhill” insists on constraints, tradeoffs, and incentives. Coming from a mid-century journalist who watched New Deal ambition, postwar prosperity, and Cold War realism collide, the line reads as a plea for grown-up politics: guarantee the essentials, but don’t pretend you can repeal gravity, human nature, or budgets.
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Citation Formats
APA Style (7th ed.)
White, Theodore. (2026, January 16). A liberal is a person who believes that water can be made to run uphill. A conservative is someone who believes everybody should pay for his water. I'm somewhere in between: I believe water should be free, but that water flows downhill. FixQuotes. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/a-liberal-is-a-person-who-believes-that-water-can-105005/
Chicago Style
White, Theodore. "A liberal is a person who believes that water can be made to run uphill. A conservative is someone who believes everybody should pay for his water. I'm somewhere in between: I believe water should be free, but that water flows downhill." FixQuotes. January 16, 2026. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/a-liberal-is-a-person-who-believes-that-water-can-105005/.
MLA Style (9th ed.)
"A liberal is a person who believes that water can be made to run uphill. A conservative is someone who believes everybody should pay for his water. I'm somewhere in between: I believe water should be free, but that water flows downhill." FixQuotes, 16 Jan. 2026, https://fixquotes.com/quotes/a-liberal-is-a-person-who-believes-that-water-can-105005/. Accessed 6 Feb. 2026.






