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Marriage Quote by C. S. Lewis

"A man who is eating or lying with his wife or preparing to go to sleep in humility, thankfulness and temperance is, by Christian standards, in an infinitely higher state than one who is listening to Bach or reading Plato in a state of pride"

About this Quote

Lewis is doing a neat bit of theological judo: he takes the activities polite culture prizes (Bach, Plato) and flips them under a standard polite culture would rather not discuss - the posture of the soul. The provocation lands because he pairs the supposedly lofty with the conspicuously domestic and bodily: eating, sex, sleep. He is puncturing the instinct to confuse refinement with righteousness, a confusion especially tempting to educated Christians who can smuggle vanity in under the cloak of “good taste.”

The intent is not anti-intellectualism; Lewis loved Plato and admired great music. It is anti-pride. In Christian moral psychology, pride isn’t just another vice, it’s the vice that colonizes all the others, turning even virtue into self-worship. Bach can become a mirror; Plato can become a badge. The subtext is a warning about spiritual drag: cultural excellence, pursued as identity, inflates the ego and quietly displaces gratitude.

Context matters: Lewis is writing into mid-century British Christianity, where class, cultivation, and moral seriousness often traveled together. His claim detonates that social arrangement. He also makes “state” the key word: not what you do, but the inner orientation while doing it. Ordinary life done with humility and temperance becomes sacramental; high culture done with pride becomes, in his view, spiritually corrosive. It’s a deliberately abrasive reminder that Christianity’s hierarchy of value is less about taste and more about surrender.

Quote Details

TopicHumility
Source
Verified source: The Collected Letters of C. S. Lewis, Vol. 2 (1931–1949) (C. S. Lewis, 2004)ISBN: 9780060727642
Text match: 95.00%   Provider: Cross-Reference
Evidence:
One thing we want to do is to kill the word ‘spiritual’ in the sense in which it is used by writers like Arnold and Croce. Last term I had to make the following remark to a room full of Christian undergraduates ‘A man who is eating or lying with his wife or preparing to go to sleep, in humility, thankfulness, and temperance, is, by Christian standards, in an infinitely higher state than one who is listening to Bach or reading Plato in a state of pride’, obvious to you, but I could see it was quite a new light to them.. Primary-source genre: Lewis’s own letter. The quotation occurs inside a letter from C. S. Lewis to Dom (Bede) Griffiths dated 16 April 1940, as commonly cited by secondary discussions. I was able to verify the exact wording of the passage (as reproduced in an online text of *Letters of C. S. Lewis*), but I could not verify the *page number* in the 2004 HarperSanFrancisco printed edition of *Collected Letters, Vol. 2* from a fully viewable scan in this search session. A widely-circulated devotional excerpt book (*Yours, Jack*, 2008) quotes the same passage and gives p. 70 for that *excerpt book* (not the original letters volume). ([bookreadfree.com](https://bookreadfree.com/251293/6202391?utm_source=openai))
Other candidates (1)
A 90 Day Challenge for Husbands and Wives to Exercise Tog... (Elizabeth Tayem, Eric Tangumonkem, 2021) compilation96.2%
... A man who is eating or lying with his wife or preparing to go to sleep in humility , thankfulness and temperance ...
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Citation Formats

APA Style (7th ed.)
Lewis, C. S. (2026, February 17). A man who is eating or lying with his wife or preparing to go to sleep in humility, thankfulness and temperance is, by Christian standards, in an infinitely higher state than one who is listening to Bach or reading Plato in a state of pride. FixQuotes. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/a-man-who-is-eating-or-lying-with-his-wife-or-13650/

Chicago Style
Lewis, C. S. "A man who is eating or lying with his wife or preparing to go to sleep in humility, thankfulness and temperance is, by Christian standards, in an infinitely higher state than one who is listening to Bach or reading Plato in a state of pride." FixQuotes. February 17, 2026. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/a-man-who-is-eating-or-lying-with-his-wife-or-13650/.

MLA Style (9th ed.)
"A man who is eating or lying with his wife or preparing to go to sleep in humility, thankfulness and temperance is, by Christian standards, in an infinitely higher state than one who is listening to Bach or reading Plato in a state of pride." FixQuotes, 17 Feb. 2026, https://fixquotes.com/quotes/a-man-who-is-eating-or-lying-with-his-wife-or-13650/. Accessed 1 Mar. 2026.

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C. S. Lewis

C. S. Lewis (November 29, 1898 - November 22, 1963) was a Author from United Kingdom.

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