Marriage Quote by Oliver Goldsmith

Marriage, Goldsmith suggests, isn’t a grand romantic project so much as a low-stakes economy of attention. The line lands with the clean snap of Augustan wit: three small wants, each diluted by "a little", as if the secret to domestic peace is not passion but portion control. It’s funny because it’s deflationary. In an era that could talk about virtue with a straight face, he reduces the marital bond to micro-doses of sympathy and applause.

The triad is doing a lot of work. "Pitied" is the slyest term: it smuggles in the idea that spouses want their struggles recognized without being asked to justify them. Not fixed, not debated, just witnessed. "Praised" acknowledges ego as a household utility. People want to be seen as competent in the unglamorous labor of living together. "Appreciated" is the hinge between the other two, a quieter, more sustainable cousin to praise; it’s less about achievement than about noticing.

Goldsmith wrote in a culture where marriage was often transactional and gendered roles were rigidly policed. That context sharpens the quote’s cynicism: if the institution can’t reliably deliver equality or romance, it can at least deliver small courtesies. The subtext is both tender and chastening. He’s not romanticizing spouses; he’s indicting how little we offer the people we live closest to, then act shocked when intimacy erodes.

The genius is its modesty. By asking for "a little", it makes the demand undeniable - and exposes how often even that feels like too much.