"And I was ashamed of myself for feeling like I had to do that in order to look a certain way. I felt misshapen, just not natural anymore. And I think it was a big stimulator of my drug use"
About this Quote
What makes the line land is how it maps a direct, unromantic pipeline from image management to chemical relief. Curtis doesn’t romanticize addiction as rebellion or tragedy; she frames it as an adaptive response to a manufactured problem. “I had to do that” is the tell. It captures coercion without naming a single villain, which is precisely how these systems survive. No one has to say “we demand perfection” when every audition, lighting setup, and tabloid close-up enforces it.
Context matters: Curtis came up in an era that treated women’s aging as a special effect to be erased, while rewarding “natural beauty” as a performance. That contradiction - be effortless, but work for it; be real, but be airbrushed - breeds a particularly corrosive shame. By calling drug use a “stimulator,” she’s also refusing the easy moral story. The subtext is structural: when your job is to be looked at, body anxiety isn’t a side issue. It’s an occupational hazard, and sometimes it’s the match.
Quote Details
| Topic | Mental Health |
|---|---|
| Source | Help us find the source |
| Cite |
Citation Formats
APA Style (7th ed.)
Curtis, Jamie Lee. (2026, January 15). And I was ashamed of myself for feeling like I had to do that in order to look a certain way. I felt misshapen, just not natural anymore. And I think it was a big stimulator of my drug use. FixQuotes. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/and-i-was-ashamed-of-myself-for-feeling-like-i-149235/
Chicago Style
Curtis, Jamie Lee. "And I was ashamed of myself for feeling like I had to do that in order to look a certain way. I felt misshapen, just not natural anymore. And I think it was a big stimulator of my drug use." FixQuotes. January 15, 2026. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/and-i-was-ashamed-of-myself-for-feeling-like-i-149235/.
MLA Style (9th ed.)
"And I was ashamed of myself for feeling like I had to do that in order to look a certain way. I felt misshapen, just not natural anymore. And I think it was a big stimulator of my drug use." FixQuotes, 15 Jan. 2026, https://fixquotes.com/quotes/and-i-was-ashamed-of-myself-for-feeling-like-i-149235/. Accessed 12 Feb. 2026.



