"Baseball is a game where a curve is an optical illusion, a screwball can be a pitch or a person, stealing is legal and you can spit anywhere you like except in the umpire's eye or on the ball"

"It took me seventeen years to get three thousand hits in baseball. I did it in one afternoon on the golf course"

"Opera in English is, in the main, just about as sensible as baseball in Italian"

"A baseball game is simply a nervous breakdown divided into nine innings"

"I'd walk through hell in a gasoline suit to play baseball"

"No baseball pitcher would be worth a darn without a catcher who could handle the hot fastball"

"These days baseball is different. You come to spring training, you get your legs ready, you arms loose, your agents ready, your lawyer lined up"

"Some say our national pastime is baseball. Not me. It's gossip"

"Statistics are to baseball what a flaky crust is to Mom's apple pie"

"I'm a very lucky guy. I had so many people help me over the years that I never had many problems. If I had a problem, I could sit down with someone and they would explain the problem to me, and the problem become like a baseball game"

"Playing baseball for a living is like having a license to steal"