"Be able to decline a date so gracefully that the person isn't embarrassed that he or she asked"
About this Quote
The intent is quietly corrective. Vos Savant frames social intelligence as a skill that can be practiced, not a personality trait youre born with. Declining "so gracefully" is a call to control the collateral damage: keep the refusal about circumstance, timing, or preference, not about the other persons worth. The subtext is feminist-adjacent without preaching: both genders are named, but the emotional labor is redistributed. The person being asked is not entitled to the date, yet is still responsible for the atmosphere. Thats modern etiquette as harm reduction.
Context matters: as a public intellectual known for cool, rational problem-solving, she smuggles empathy into the language of competence. Its advice that reads like a social algorithm: preserve dignity on both sides, maintain the relationship, avoid unnecessary drama. In a culture that often valorizes blunt honesty, she argues for something harder and rarer: precision with kindness, the kind that keeps tomorrow from being awkward.
Quote Details
| Topic | Romantic |
|---|---|
| Source | Help us find the source |
| Cite |
Citation Formats
APA Style (7th ed.)
Savant, Marilyn vos. (2026, January 16). Be able to decline a date so gracefully that the person isn't embarrassed that he or she asked. FixQuotes. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/be-able-to-decline-a-date-so-gracefully-that-the-104131/
Chicago Style
Savant, Marilyn vos. "Be able to decline a date so gracefully that the person isn't embarrassed that he or she asked." FixQuotes. January 16, 2026. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/be-able-to-decline-a-date-so-gracefully-that-the-104131/.
MLA Style (9th ed.)
"Be able to decline a date so gracefully that the person isn't embarrassed that he or she asked." FixQuotes, 16 Jan. 2026, https://fixquotes.com/quotes/be-able-to-decline-a-date-so-gracefully-that-the-104131/. Accessed 12 Feb. 2026.








