"Be amusing: never tell unkind stories; above all, never tell long ones"
About this Quote
The double prohibition is where the subtext sharpens. “Never tell unkind stories” isn’t a hymn to niceness; it’s strategic restraint. Unkind anecdotes are easy applause that create long-term liabilities: they mark you as indiscreet, they harden factions, they tell the room you might weaponize intimacy. In a world of salons, newspapers, and rival patrons, cruelty travels faster than context. Disraeli is prescribing a form of reputational hygiene that doubles as political survival.
“Above all, never tell long ones” is the most ruthless clause because it admits what polite society won’t: the cardinal sin isn’t malice, it’s taking too much time. Length signals self-importance; it suggests you value your performance over the audience’s comfort. Disraeli’s hierarchy is revealing: cruelty can sometimes be forgiven as heat-of-the-moment; tedium is structural.
Context matters too. Disraeli rose as an outsider in a class-conscious system, and his wit was both armor and ladder. The quote distills the technique: charm without casualties, brevity as respect, and amusement as a tool for moving through rooms where decisions are quietly made.
Quote Details
| Topic | Witty One-Liners |
|---|---|
| Source | Later attribution: The Lighten Up Book (Allen Klein, 2019) modern compilationISBN: 9781633537453 · ID: uRl9EAAAQBAJ
Evidence:
... Be amusing; never tell unkind stories; above all, never tell long ones. Benjamin Disraeli You live but once; you might as well be amusing. Coco Chanel The whole object of comedy is to be yourself, and. |
| Cite |
Citation Formats
APA Style (7th ed.)
Disraeli, Benjamin. (2026, February 26). Be amusing: never tell unkind stories; above all, never tell long ones. FixQuotes. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/be-amusing-never-tell-unkind-stories-above-all-30065/
Chicago Style
Disraeli, Benjamin. "Be amusing: never tell unkind stories; above all, never tell long ones." FixQuotes. February 26, 2026. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/be-amusing-never-tell-unkind-stories-above-all-30065/.
MLA Style (9th ed.)
"Be amusing: never tell unkind stories; above all, never tell long ones." FixQuotes, 26 Feb. 2026, https://fixquotes.com/quotes/be-amusing-never-tell-unkind-stories-above-all-30065/. Accessed 7 Mar. 2026.






