"Be calm in arguing; for fierceness makes error a fault, and truth discourtesy"
About this Quote
Herbert’s line reads like etiquette, but it’s really a theory of how humans defend themselves when they feel cornered. “Be calm in arguing” isn’t about politeness for its own sake; it’s about keeping the argument in the realm of persuasion rather than turning it into a test of pride. The moment “fierceness” enters, the stakes shift. Error stops being a detachable mistake and becomes “a fault” - a moral blemish on the person who made it. That’s the psychological trap Herbert is warning against: once disagreement is framed as character indictment, nobody can afford to revise their view without losing face.
The second half is even sharper. When you argue hotly, “truth” itself starts to feel like “discourtesy.” Not because truth changes, but because tone changes what truth signifies socially. A correct point delivered with aggression becomes a kind of social violation, a flex. In that atmosphere, people don’t experience being corrected as illumination; they experience it as humiliation. Herbert implies that rhetorical heat doesn’t just alienate your opponent, it corrupts your own relationship to truth by making you use it as a weapon.
Context matters: Herbert is a devotional poet and Anglican priest writing in a culture obsessed with honor, sin, and self-scrutiny. His advice isn’t modern “civility politics”; it’s pastoral realism. Calmness is a moral technology: it preserves the possibility that someone can be wrong without being damned, and that truth can land without sounding like contempt.
The second half is even sharper. When you argue hotly, “truth” itself starts to feel like “discourtesy.” Not because truth changes, but because tone changes what truth signifies socially. A correct point delivered with aggression becomes a kind of social violation, a flex. In that atmosphere, people don’t experience being corrected as illumination; they experience it as humiliation. Herbert implies that rhetorical heat doesn’t just alienate your opponent, it corrupts your own relationship to truth by making you use it as a weapon.
Context matters: Herbert is a devotional poet and Anglican priest writing in a culture obsessed with honor, sin, and self-scrutiny. His advice isn’t modern “civility politics”; it’s pastoral realism. Calmness is a moral technology: it preserves the possibility that someone can be wrong without being damned, and that truth can land without sounding like contempt.
Quote Details
| Topic | Wisdom |
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