"Be modest, be respectful of others, try to understand"
About this Quote
In a world of summit tables and back-channel memos, this line reads less like a moral bumper sticker and more like field-tested survival advice. Lakhdar Brahimi isn’t selling virtue; he’s naming the only set of behaviors that reliably keep fragile conversations from collapsing. “Be modest” is the first tell. Diplomacy punishes swagger because it turns negotiation into theater, and theater produces winners and losers, not agreements. Modesty here is tactical humility: an admission that no one sees the full map, and that certainty is often just a polished form of ignorance.
“Be respectful of others” looks soft until you hear the implied warning: disrespect is a shortcut to stalemate. Brahimi spent decades around conflicts where humiliation wasn’t a side effect but a fuel source. Respect becomes a way to lower the temperature, to let an opponent climb down without losing face, to make compromise politically survivable.
Then he lands on the real engine: “try to understand.” Not “agree,” not “forgive,” not “sympathize” - understand. The phrasing suggests effort, not enlightenment: you try because it’s hard, because you’d rather not, because your instincts are tribal. Subtext: most disasters in politics aren’t caused by evil masterminds; they’re caused by people refusing to model how the other side experiences the world.
Context matters: Brahimi’s career sits in the late-20th and early-21st century churn of civil wars, post-colonial state-building, and international interventions that repeatedly mistook power for clarity. His sentence is a quiet rebuke to the technocratic habit of “solving” societies from the outside. It’s also a code of conduct for anyone with influence: if you can’t manage your ego, you’ll misread everyone else’s reality - and your leverage will turn into collateral damage.
“Be respectful of others” looks soft until you hear the implied warning: disrespect is a shortcut to stalemate. Brahimi spent decades around conflicts where humiliation wasn’t a side effect but a fuel source. Respect becomes a way to lower the temperature, to let an opponent climb down without losing face, to make compromise politically survivable.
Then he lands on the real engine: “try to understand.” Not “agree,” not “forgive,” not “sympathize” - understand. The phrasing suggests effort, not enlightenment: you try because it’s hard, because you’d rather not, because your instincts are tribal. Subtext: most disasters in politics aren’t caused by evil masterminds; they’re caused by people refusing to model how the other side experiences the world.
Context matters: Brahimi’s career sits in the late-20th and early-21st century churn of civil wars, post-colonial state-building, and international interventions that repeatedly mistook power for clarity. His sentence is a quiet rebuke to the technocratic habit of “solving” societies from the outside. It’s also a code of conduct for anyone with influence: if you can’t manage your ego, you’ll misread everyone else’s reality - and your leverage will turn into collateral damage.
Quote Details
| Topic | Respect |
|---|---|
| Source | Later attribution: Good Leader/Bad Leader (Martyn Richard Jones, 2025) modern compilationID: ULJwEQAAQBAJ
Evidence:
... Be modest , be respectful of others , try to understand . Lakhdar Brahimi A true leader should respect the time and opinions of others . A true leader should value the time and contributions of all team , group and community members ... |
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