Skip to main content

Daily Inspiration Quote by Madeleine L'Engle

"Because you're not what I would have you be, I blind myself to who, in truth, you are"

About this Quote

A stingingly polite confession: the speaker doesn’t accuse the other person of changing, failing, or deceiving. They accuse themselves of a more intimate violence - choosing fantasy over reality, then calling it love, concern, or principle. The line is built on a ruthless bit of grammar. “Because” pretends to offer a rational explanation, but what follows is an ethical indictment. The cause isn’t the other’s behavior; it’s the speaker’s appetite for control. “Not what I would have you be” gives away the real project: remaking a human being into a preferred draft.

Then comes the turn that makes it land: “I blind myself.” Not “I don’t see,” not “I misunderstand,” but an active, willed self-mutilation. L’Engle understands how people protect their idealized narratives by sabotaging perception. The blindness isn’t ignorance; it’s maintenance. It’s the psychic cost of insisting that someone fit a role - child, partner, believer, hero - when their actual self is messier, freer, or simply different.

The subtext is relational and spiritual at once, very much in L’Engle’s wheelhouse: the sin isn’t disobedience, it’s refusal of personhood. “Who, in truth, you are” carries a moral pressure. Truth exists; it’s available; the speaker is the one turning away. In families, communities, and faith traditions, this dynamic is painfully common: disappointment masquerading as discernment, judgment dressed up as standards. L’Engle’s intent is corrective - a warning that the quickest way to lose someone is to love an idea of them more than their lived reality.

Quote Details

TopicRelationship
Source
Later attribution: A Light So Lovely (Sarah Arthur, 2018) modern compilationISBN: 9780310353423 · ID: rcdODwAAQBAJ
Text match: 95.00%   Provider: Google Books
Evidence:
The Spiritual Legacy of Madeleine L'Engle, Author of A Wrinkle in Time Sarah Arthur. Madeleine's purportedly ... Because you're not what I would have you be I blind myself to who , in truth , you are . Seeking mirage where desert ...
Cite

Citation Formats

APA Style (7th ed.)
L'Engle, Madeleine. (2026, March 23). Because you're not what I would have you be, I blind myself to who, in truth, you are. FixQuotes. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/because-youre-not-what-i-would-have-you-be-i-107917/

Chicago Style
L'Engle, Madeleine. "Because you're not what I would have you be, I blind myself to who, in truth, you are." FixQuotes. March 23, 2026. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/because-youre-not-what-i-would-have-you-be-i-107917/.

MLA Style (9th ed.)
"Because you're not what I would have you be, I blind myself to who, in truth, you are." FixQuotes, 23 Mar. 2026, https://fixquotes.com/quotes/because-youre-not-what-i-would-have-you-be-i-107917/. Accessed 1 Apr. 2026.

More Quotes by Madeleine Add to List
Madeleine L Engle on Love and the Blindness of Control
Click to enlarge Portrait | Landscape

About the Author

Madeleine L'Engle

Madeleine L'Engle (November 29, 1918 - September 6, 2007) was a Novelist from USA.

15 more quotes available

View Profile

Similar Quotes

Enya, Musician

We use cookies and local storage to personalize content, analyze traffic, and provide social media features. We also share information about your use of our site with our social media and analytics partners. By continuing to use our site, you consent to our Privacy Policy.