"But I know somebody who has a bedside urinal. How do I compete with that?"
About this Quote
The line’s power comes from its fake-helpless framing. “How do I compete with that?” reads like insecurity, but it’s also an indictment of competition itself. In the celebrity ecosystem she came up in - late-90s/early-2000s tabloid culture, where relationships were scored like box office - being “close” to someone was often staged as a hierarchy: who knows the most, who gets the most unfiltered version, who’s seen the mess. The bedside urinal becomes a crude trophy of domestic penetration, a symbol that someone else is already past the point where charm matters.
There’s a second edge: it hints at caretaking, illness, vulnerability - the stuff celebrity stories usually airbrush out. Boyle’s joke smuggles in that adulthood isn’t cocktails and premieres; it’s bodies that leak, partners who witness it, and the uncomfortable truth that real intimacy can look humiliating. That’s why it works: it’s not just funny, it’s a reality check disguised as gossip.
Quote Details
| Topic | Romantic |
|---|---|
| Source | Help us find the source |
| Cite |
Citation Formats
APA Style (7th ed.)
Boyle, Lara Flynn. (2026, January 15). But I know somebody who has a bedside urinal. How do I compete with that? FixQuotes. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/but-i-know-somebody-who-has-a-bedside-urinal-how-147464/
Chicago Style
Boyle, Lara Flynn. "But I know somebody who has a bedside urinal. How do I compete with that?" FixQuotes. January 15, 2026. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/but-i-know-somebody-who-has-a-bedside-urinal-how-147464/.
MLA Style (9th ed.)
"But I know somebody who has a bedside urinal. How do I compete with that?" FixQuotes, 15 Jan. 2026, https://fixquotes.com/quotes/but-i-know-somebody-who-has-a-bedside-urinal-how-147464/. Accessed 18 Feb. 2026.













