"But instead of that stuff you get relationships with people and neighbors that you would never get in a city. People in small towns are a lot more open"
About this Quote
The phrase “instead of” does a lot of work. It implies a trade-off narrative that’s baked into American mobility: you move to the city for opportunity and culture, you move away for space and peace. Gorder flips it by making the city the place of diminished access - not to amenities, but to intimacy. “People and neighbors that you would never get in a city” isn’t just pastoral nostalgia; it’s an indictment of urban anonymity as a kind of social design failure, where proximity doesn’t guarantee connection.
Her claim that small-town people are “more open” lands as both observation and aspiration. Subtext: openness is a practice supported by slower rhythms, repeated encounters, and stakes that persist past one night out. It’s also a selective openness - the warmth of being welcomed can coexist with the chill of being watched. The line sells community as the ultimate home feature, while quietly acknowledging how rare - and how engineered - that can feel in modern city life.
Quote Details
| Topic | Friendship |
|---|---|
| Source | Help us find the source |
| Cite |
Citation Formats
APA Style (7th ed.)
Gorder, Genevieve. (2026, January 17). But instead of that stuff you get relationships with people and neighbors that you would never get in a city. People in small towns are a lot more open. FixQuotes. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/but-instead-of-that-stuff-you-get-relationships-60095/
Chicago Style
Gorder, Genevieve. "But instead of that stuff you get relationships with people and neighbors that you would never get in a city. People in small towns are a lot more open." FixQuotes. January 17, 2026. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/but-instead-of-that-stuff-you-get-relationships-60095/.
MLA Style (9th ed.)
"But instead of that stuff you get relationships with people and neighbors that you would never get in a city. People in small towns are a lot more open." FixQuotes, 17 Jan. 2026, https://fixquotes.com/quotes/but-instead-of-that-stuff-you-get-relationships-60095/. Accessed 17 Feb. 2026.





