"Children are educated by what the grown-up is and not by his talk"
About this Quote
The subtext is more unsettling than the self-help version of this idea. Jung isn’t saying “be a good role model” in a Hallmark way; he’s saying your shadow is part of the curriculum. Kids don’t just mirror your virtues, they also absorb what you deny in yourself: the stress you normalize, the resentment you swallow, the way you treat power when you think no one is watching. Talk becomes performance management; character is the unedited feed.
Context matters. Jung is writing from a depth-psychology tradition that distrusted rational self-narration. Conscious speech can be sincere and still function as cover. So the quote also critiques moralism: the parent who preaches kindness but seethes at strangers teaches contempt; the teacher who lectures curiosity but punishes questions teaches compliance.
What makes it work rhetorically is the quiet switch from “what the grown-up says” to “what the grown-up is.” It turns education into an ethical audit, not of curricula, but of everyday conduct. The message isn’t that words are useless. It’s that they only matter when they’re backed by a psyche kids can trust.
Quote Details
| Topic | Parenting |
|---|---|
| Source | Unverified source: The Archetypes and the Collective Unconscious (Carl Jung, 1959)
Evidence: Chapter/Essay: "The Psychology of the Child Archetype"; page 174 (in the 2nd ed. English text hosted at the cited URL). Primary-source match found in Jung’s Collected Works (CW 9i), in the essay "The Psychology of the Child Archetype." The text reads: “Children are educated by what the grownup is... Other candidates (2) What the Dogs Taught Me About Being a Parent (Doggy Dan, 2013) compilation95.0% ... Children are educated by what the grown-up is and not by his talk.' — Carl Jung. THE. POWER. OF. VISUALISATION. h... Carl Jung (Carl Jung) compilation37.5% whose children we are the attempt to say these things has always been made and p |
| Featured | This quote was our Quote of the Day on October 2, 2025 |
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Citation Formats
APA Style (7th ed.)
Jung, Carl. (2026, January 13). Children are educated by what the grown-up is and not by his talk. FixQuotes. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/children-are-educated-by-what-the-grown-up-is-and-30372/
Chicago Style
Jung, Carl. "Children are educated by what the grown-up is and not by his talk." FixQuotes. January 13, 2026. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/children-are-educated-by-what-the-grown-up-is-and-30372/.
MLA Style (9th ed.)
"Children are educated by what the grown-up is and not by his talk." FixQuotes, 13 Jan. 2026, https://fixquotes.com/quotes/children-are-educated-by-what-the-grown-up-is-and-30372/. Accessed 21 Feb. 2026.












