Marriage Quote by P. J. O'Rourke

O'Rourke weaponizes a bureaucratic tone to expose something ugly: divorce doesn’t just end a relationship, it often kick-starts a miniature war with paperwork. The line works because it sounds like it’s adopting the system’s own language - “considered,” “valuable,” “contest,” “ensue” - and then slips in the moral gut-punch: children reduced to “pawns.” The repetition of “considered” is key. It mimics legalese while hinting at complicity, the way institutions sanitize harm by phrasing it as procedure.

The specific intent isn’t to describe divorce at its best; it’s to indict divorce at its most transactional. Calling kids “valuable” is the cruel joke. Value here isn’t love or well-being; it’s leverage. In custody fights, children can become currency: bargaining chips for money, revenge, reputation, control. “Nasty legal and financial contest” frames the process less as healing or resolution and more as adversarial sport, one where winning can mean extracting resources or punishment rather than building a workable future.

Subtextually, O'Rourke is also skewering the adults. He’s not only blaming the courts; he’s pointing at parents who learn to speak the court’s language and start treating their own kids as evidence, strategy, or hostage. The context fits O'Rourke’s broader brand of libertarian-leaning cynicism about institutions: when personal life gets routed through lawyers and incentives, the incentives tend to win. The line lands because it’s funny in the bleak way that makes you feel guilty for laughing - and then forces you to notice what the joke is really charging.