"Conversely, beware the man who does nothing but ask you questions about yourself and offers no information about himself. Not only is he keeping you at bay, he is probably not listening to your answers"
About this Quote
Markoe’s warning isn’t about shyness; it’s about power. The “man who does nothing but ask you questions” borrows the posture of curiosity to run a quiet extraction. He turns conversation into an interview where you supply the raw material - your history, your insecurities, your soft spots - while he stays conveniently untraceable. It’s the social version of a one-way mirror: you perform, he observes.
The “conversely” matters. It implies she’s responding to the usual advice to be interested, not interesting. Markoe flips it: relentless interest can be camouflage. In a culture that treats good listening as a moral virtue, the question-asker gets automatic credit. But intimacy is reciprocal; disclosure is the price of admission. When someone won’t pay it, they’re not being polite, they’re managing risk and keeping control.
Then she lands the sharper accusation: “probably not listening.” That’s the tell. The questions aren’t bridges; they’re stalling tactics, social algorithms, a way to keep the spotlight fixed on you while he avoids revealing anything that could make him vulnerable or accountable. Markoe, with a writer’s ear for conversational fraud, suggests that the performance of engagement can be emptier than overt self-absorption. The interrogator and the bore are cousins: both want a room shaped around them.
In the era of networking, dating-app banter, and “tell me about yourself” culture, her line reads like field advice. If the exchange doesn’t include volunteered selfhood, you’re not being seen - you’re being assessed.
The “conversely” matters. It implies she’s responding to the usual advice to be interested, not interesting. Markoe flips it: relentless interest can be camouflage. In a culture that treats good listening as a moral virtue, the question-asker gets automatic credit. But intimacy is reciprocal; disclosure is the price of admission. When someone won’t pay it, they’re not being polite, they’re managing risk and keeping control.
Then she lands the sharper accusation: “probably not listening.” That’s the tell. The questions aren’t bridges; they’re stalling tactics, social algorithms, a way to keep the spotlight fixed on you while he avoids revealing anything that could make him vulnerable or accountable. Markoe, with a writer’s ear for conversational fraud, suggests that the performance of engagement can be emptier than overt self-absorption. The interrogator and the bore are cousins: both want a room shaped around them.
In the era of networking, dating-app banter, and “tell me about yourself” culture, her line reads like field advice. If the exchange doesn’t include volunteered selfhood, you’re not being seen - you’re being assessed.
Quote Details
| Topic | Fake Friends |
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