Life & Wisdom Quote by Merrill Markoe

Markoe’s warning isn’t about shyness; it’s about power. The “man who does nothing but ask you questions” borrows the posture of curiosity to run a quiet extraction. He turns conversation into an interview where you supply the raw material - your history, your insecurities, your soft spots - while he stays conveniently untraceable. It’s the social version of a one-way mirror: you perform, he observes.

The “conversely” matters. It implies she’s responding to the usual advice to be interested, not interesting. Markoe flips it: relentless interest can be camouflage. In a culture that treats good listening as a moral virtue, the question-asker gets automatic credit. But intimacy is reciprocal; disclosure is the price of admission. When someone won’t pay it, they’re not being polite, they’re managing risk and keeping control.

Then she lands the sharper accusation: “probably not listening.” That’s the tell. The questions aren’t bridges; they’re stalling tactics, social algorithms, a way to keep the spotlight fixed on you while he avoids revealing anything that could make him vulnerable or accountable. Markoe, with a writer’s ear for conversational fraud, suggests that the performance of engagement can be emptier than overt self-absorption. The interrogator and the bore are cousins: both want a room shaped around them.

In the era of networking, dating-app banter, and “tell me about yourself” culture, her line reads like field advice. If the exchange doesn’t include volunteered selfhood, you’re not being seen - you’re being assessed.