"Don't commit to being a columnist unless you're willing to do it right. Report your behind off, so you have something original and useful to say. Say it in a way that will interest someone other than you, your family and your sources"
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Gatekeeping, yes, but the kind that’s trying to save the job from its lazier instincts. Allan Sloan’s line lands like a blunt memo to anyone who thinks a column is permission to riff. His first demand - “do it right” - isn’t about polish; it’s about ethics. Columnists trade on authority, and Sloan is saying you don’t get to borrow that authority from vibes, hot takes, or proximity to power.
The operative phrase is “report your behind off.” It’s a deliberately unglamorous image: the grind work that readers never see, the calls returned, the documents read, the contradictions chased until they snap into clarity. Sloan’s subtext is that opinion without reporting is just performance - and performance is cheap. Reporting is what makes a column “original and useful,” two words that quietly indict much of modern commentary: originality is rare when everyone’s reacting to the same feed; usefulness is rarer when the goal is applause.
Then he twists the knife: “interest someone other than you, your family and your sources.” That’s a three-way warning. Against self-indulgence (writing to process your own feelings), against nepotistic validation (your people already agree), and against access journalism (writing to flatter sources who can keep the pipeline open). It’s also a reminder that clarity is a form of respect. If your argument can’t survive outside your inner circle, it wasn’t an argument; it was an alibi.
In a media economy that rewards speed and personality, Sloan is insisting on an older bargain: earn attention with labor, then spend it on the reader.
The operative phrase is “report your behind off.” It’s a deliberately unglamorous image: the grind work that readers never see, the calls returned, the documents read, the contradictions chased until they snap into clarity. Sloan’s subtext is that opinion without reporting is just performance - and performance is cheap. Reporting is what makes a column “original and useful,” two words that quietly indict much of modern commentary: originality is rare when everyone’s reacting to the same feed; usefulness is rarer when the goal is applause.
Then he twists the knife: “interest someone other than you, your family and your sources.” That’s a three-way warning. Against self-indulgence (writing to process your own feelings), against nepotistic validation (your people already agree), and against access journalism (writing to flatter sources who can keep the pipeline open). It’s also a reminder that clarity is a form of respect. If your argument can’t survive outside your inner circle, it wasn’t an argument; it was an alibi.
In a media economy that rewards speed and personality, Sloan is insisting on an older bargain: earn attention with labor, then spend it on the reader.
Quote Details
| Topic | Writing |
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