"Even as kids reach adolescence, they need more than ever for us to watch over them. Adolescence is not about letting go. It's about hanging on during a very bumpy ride"
About this Quote
Ron Taffel is pushing back against one of parenting culture's most seductive myths: that adolescence is a handoff, a clean break where good parents "give space" and step aside. His language refuses the prevailing metaphor of separation. "Letting go" evokes liberation and trust, but he counters with "watch over" and "hanging on" - verbs of sustained presence, vigilance, even grit. The intent is corrective: to reframe adolescent independence not as a parent exiting the scene, but as a parent staying close enough to matter while the terrain gets unpredictable.
The subtext is an argument about risk. "More than ever" quietly acknowledges what many adults sense but feel guilty admitting: teens can look competent and still be fragile. The line doesn't infantilize them; it points to the mismatch between outward взросness and inward volatility. By calling it a "very bumpy ride", Taffel borrows the language of travel to normalize turbulence. Bumps aren't moral failures; they're expected physics. That move matters because it lowers the temperature. Parents aren't asked to control the ride, just to remain a stabilizing handrail while the teen learns balance.
Contextually, this sits squarely in late-20th/early-21st-century parenting debates shaped by fears of overparenting on one side and neglect disguised as autonomy on the other. Taffel's middle path is demanding: stay attached without gripping so hard you steer. It's an ethic of presence, not possession.
The subtext is an argument about risk. "More than ever" quietly acknowledges what many adults sense but feel guilty admitting: teens can look competent and still be fragile. The line doesn't infantilize them; it points to the mismatch between outward взросness and inward volatility. By calling it a "very bumpy ride", Taffel borrows the language of travel to normalize turbulence. Bumps aren't moral failures; they're expected physics. That move matters because it lowers the temperature. Parents aren't asked to control the ride, just to remain a stabilizing handrail while the teen learns balance.
Contextually, this sits squarely in late-20th/early-21st-century parenting debates shaped by fears of overparenting on one side and neglect disguised as autonomy on the other. Taffel's middle path is demanding: stay attached without gripping so hard you steer. It's an ethic of presence, not possession.
Quote Details
| Topic | Parenting |
|---|---|
| Source | Help us find the source |
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