"Every relationship between persons causes a picture of each to take form in the mind of the other, and this picture evidently is in reciprocal relationship with that personal relationship"
About this Quote
The subtext is sharper than it first appears. A relationship isn’t only “between” two individuals; it’s between an individual and an image of the other, and then between that image and the evolving bond. In modern terms, Simmel is describing a loop: I respond to who I think you are; you respond to who you think I am; those responses harden into expectations, roles, even myths. The “reciprocal relationship” suggests a self-fulfilling architecture: the more the picture stabilizes, the more it governs the relationship, and the harder it becomes to see anything outside the frame.
Context matters here. Writing in the churn of late-19th/early-20th-century modernity, Simmel was obsessed with how urban life, money culture, and dense networks of interaction reshape the self. This line carries that wider argument into the micro-scale. It’s not just about misunderstanding or projection; it’s about social reality being built out of mutual representations. The relationship is real, but it’s real partly because the pictures are.
Quote Details
| Topic | Relationship |
|---|---|
| Source | Verified source: The Sociology of Secrecy and of Secret Societies (Georg Simmel, 1906)
Evidence: Every relationship between persons causes a picture of each to take form in the mind of the other, and this picture evidently is in reciprocal relationship with that personal relationship. (pp. 441–498 (quote appears in the early section; exact page not reliably recoverable from the copy consulted)). This wording appears verbatim in Georg Simmel’s English-language journal article “The Sociology of Secrecy and of Secret Societies,” published in the American Journal of Sociology, Vol. 11, No. 4 (Jan. 1906), pp. 441–498. The same material was later republished/expanded in German as “Das Geheimnis und die geheime Gesellschaft” in Simmel’s book Soziologie: Untersuchungen über die Formen der Vergesellschaftung (Duncker & Humblot), 1908; many secondary excerpts cite it around pp. 308–309 in later English book translations/editions, but the earliest identifiable primary publication with this exact English sentence is the 1906 AJS article. Other candidates (1) The Sociology of Secrecy and of Secret Societies (Georg Simmel, 2018) compilation99.2% Georg Simmel. our objectively psychological ... Every relationship between persons causes a picture of each to take f... |
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Citation Formats
APA Style (7th ed.)
Simmel, Georg. (2026, February 20). Every relationship between persons causes a picture of each to take form in the mind of the other, and this picture evidently is in reciprocal relationship with that personal relationship. FixQuotes. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/every-relationship-between-persons-causes-a-143869/
Chicago Style
Simmel, Georg. "Every relationship between persons causes a picture of each to take form in the mind of the other, and this picture evidently is in reciprocal relationship with that personal relationship." FixQuotes. February 20, 2026. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/every-relationship-between-persons-causes-a-143869/.
MLA Style (9th ed.)
"Every relationship between persons causes a picture of each to take form in the mind of the other, and this picture evidently is in reciprocal relationship with that personal relationship." FixQuotes, 20 Feb. 2026, https://fixquotes.com/quotes/every-relationship-between-persons-causes-a-143869/. Accessed 6 Mar. 2026.



