"Every woman should have four pets in her life. A mink in her closet, a jaguar in her garage, a tiger in her bed, and a jackass who pays for everything"
About this Quote
Each animal is a coded prop. The mink in the closet nods to old-school luxury and the casual cruelty embedded in “glamour.” The jaguar in the garage is conspicuous consumption with a purr - literally motorized desirability. The tiger in the bed pushes the fantasy further: sex as spectacle, danger as décor. Then the punchline arrives with a hard consonant: “a jackass who pays for everything.” It’s not subtle, and that’s the point. The laugh comes from the blunt reversal of expectations and the unapologetic admission of transactional intimacy.
Subtext-wise, it’s both a flex and a defense mechanism. By exaggerating gold-digger stereotypes to cartoon proportions, Hilton controls the narrative: you can’t shame someone for being shallow if they’re already selling you the shallow persona at a markup. Context matters: this is peak tabloid capitalism, when celebrity women were policed for being “famous for nothing” while being monetized for every outfit, boyfriend, and soundbite. The line lands because it exposes the bargain beneath the glitter: in a culture that turns women into commodities, she jokes about doing the bookkeeping.
Quote Details
| Topic | Witty One-Liners |
|---|---|
| Source | Help us find the source |
| Cite |
Citation Formats
APA Style (7th ed.)
Hilton, Paris. (2026, January 14). Every woman should have four pets in her life. A mink in her closet, a jaguar in her garage, a tiger in her bed, and a jackass who pays for everything. FixQuotes. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/every-woman-should-have-four-pets-in-her-life-a-4637/
Chicago Style
Hilton, Paris. "Every woman should have four pets in her life. A mink in her closet, a jaguar in her garage, a tiger in her bed, and a jackass who pays for everything." FixQuotes. January 14, 2026. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/every-woman-should-have-four-pets-in-her-life-a-4637/.
MLA Style (9th ed.)
"Every woman should have four pets in her life. A mink in her closet, a jaguar in her garage, a tiger in her bed, and a jackass who pays for everything." FixQuotes, 14 Jan. 2026, https://fixquotes.com/quotes/every-woman-should-have-four-pets-in-her-life-a-4637/. Accessed 24 Feb. 2026.






