"Fail, and your friends feel superior. Succeed, and they feel resentful"
About this Quote
“Fail” makes you useful in the simplest way: you become a flattering mirror. Your friends “feel superior,” not necessarily because they’re cruel, but because comparison is automatic and emotionally efficient. It’s a small narcotic of relief: at least I’m not them. “Succeed,” though, forces a different reckoning. Your win doesn’t just raise you; it silently lowers everyone still standing on the old baseline. Resentment, in this framing, isn’t villainy so much as the psychic bill for living in a world where esteem is scarce and achievement is public.
Cooley’s intent is diagnostic, not motivational. He’s not advising you to hide your ambition or distrust everyone; he’s capturing how quickly affection can be contaminated by arithmetic. The subtext is that friendship depends on a shared sense of equality, and any asymmetry - even the “good” kind - introduces friction. Written by an aphorist in late-20th-century America, it lands amid a culture increasingly organized around winners, metrics, and curated visibility. When your life becomes a scoreboard, even your friends can start keeping score.
Quote Details
| Topic | Fake Friends |
|---|---|
| Source | Help us find the source |
| Cite |
Citation Formats
APA Style (7th ed.)
Cooley, Mason. (2026, January 15). Fail, and your friends feel superior. Succeed, and they feel resentful. FixQuotes. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/fail-and-your-friends-feel-superior-succeed-and-155558/
Chicago Style
Cooley, Mason. "Fail, and your friends feel superior. Succeed, and they feel resentful." FixQuotes. January 15, 2026. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/fail-and-your-friends-feel-superior-succeed-and-155558/.
MLA Style (9th ed.)
"Fail, and your friends feel superior. Succeed, and they feel resentful." FixQuotes, 15 Jan. 2026, https://fixquotes.com/quotes/fail-and-your-friends-feel-superior-succeed-and-155558/. Accessed 8 Feb. 2026.









