"Football is a fertility festival. Eleven sperm trying to get into the egg. I feel sorry for the goalkeeper"

"In life, as in football, you won't go far unless you know where the goalposts are"

"People who work together will win, whether it be against complex football defenses, or the problems of modern society"

"The football season is like pain. You forget how terrible it is until it seizes you again"

"Football kicks you in the teeth"

"Gentlemen, it is better to have died as a small boy than to fumble this football"

"Football is like life - it requires perseverance, self-denial, hard work, sacrifice, dedication and respect for authority"

"Truth is tough. It will not break, like a bubble, at the touch, nay, you may kick it about all day like a football, and it will be round and full at evening"

"You may not win the Super Bowl. Your kids may not go on to be doctors and lawyers and everything may not go perfectly. That doesn't mean it was a bad plan or the wrong thing. It's just like a football season. Everything's not going to go perfect"

"You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer"

"The essence of football was blocking, tackling, and execution based on timing, rhythm and deception"