"For it is mutual trust, even more than mutual interest that holds human associations together. Our friends seldom profit us but they make us feel safe. Marriage is a scheme to accomplish exactly that same end"

Human relationships are often perceived as alliances of convenience or necessity, bound together by shared goals or benefits. Yet, Mencken’s observation shifts focus away from transactional calculations and toward the intangible foundation of mutual trust. It is not the pursuit of mutual advantage that most powerfully binds people, but the deep-seated sense of reliability and security that comes from trust. When individuals trust each other, there is a sense of emotional safety, allowing for vulnerability and authenticity. The presence of mutual trust enables people to face uncertainty with confidence, knowing they are supported.

Friendship, as Mencken notes, rarely offers material gain. Friends might not tangibly improve our circumstances, grant us opportunities, or advance our personal interests. Instead, their value lies in providing an atmosphere where we are understood and shielded from the harsher aspects of the world. Friendship serves as an emotional refuge, a place where one’s guard can be let down without fear of betrayal or judgment. The comfort and reassurance derived from knowing someone is unconditionally on your side is far more durable and sustaining than the fleeting advantages of mutual interest.

Extending the argument, Mencken identifies marriage as a social institution engineered to institutionalize this form of security. While often theorized in economic, reproductive, or social terms, marriage, at its core, fulfills a basic psychological need for stability and protectedness. The implicit promise of marriage is not solely companionship or utility, but a lifelong commitment to provide mutual safety, a shared fortress against life’s unpredictabilities.

Thus, the essence of enduring human associations arises not from the careful calculation of benefits, but from a shared sense of trust. When trust is present, individuals feel secure enough to commit and invest themselves deeply, whether in friendship, marriage, or broader communities. In the end, trust is the invisible glue that creates meaning and cohesion within our most cherished relationships.