"Growing up, I wanted desperately to please, to be a good girl"
About this Quote
"To be a good girl" is both confession and critique. It’s a culturally loaded badge, less about ethics than about compliance: be agreeable, be low-maintenance, anticipate what adults want before they say it. The line’s power comes from its restraint. Danes doesn’t name parents, teachers, casting directors, tabloids, or a specific wound; she doesn’t have to. The vagueness lets the listener supply the institution that did the shaping, which is exactly how this kind of shaping works: it’s ambient, everywhere, normalized as "just how you are."
In the context of celebrity narratives, the quote quietly resists the glossy origin story. Instead of claiming early certainty or rebellious fire, Danes points to a formative anxiety, a desire to be approved of. That’s a more unsettling, more believable origin for a woman navigating an industry that rewards women for being talented, yes, but also for being easy to handle. The subtext isn’t "I was good". It’s "I learned to perform goodness."
Quote Details
| Topic | Youth |
|---|---|
| Source | Help us find the source |
| Cite | Cite this Quote |
Citation Formats
APA Style (7th ed.)
Danes, Claire. (2026, January 15). Growing up, I wanted desperately to please, to be a good girl. FixQuotes. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/growing-up-i-wanted-desperately-to-please-to-be-a-171342/
Chicago Style
Danes, Claire. "Growing up, I wanted desperately to please, to be a good girl." FixQuotes. January 15, 2026. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/growing-up-i-wanted-desperately-to-please-to-be-a-171342/.
MLA Style (9th ed.)
"Growing up, I wanted desperately to please, to be a good girl." FixQuotes, 15 Jan. 2026, https://fixquotes.com/quotes/growing-up-i-wanted-desperately-to-please-to-be-a-171342/. Accessed 3 Feb. 2026.







