"Have a heart that never hardens, and a temper that never tires, and a touch that never hurts"
About this Quote
“And a temper that never tires” shifts from feeling to stamina. Compassion, Dickens implies, is exhausting; it’s easier to be briefly moved than to stay just and patient when you’re provoked, overworked, or disappointed. The subtext is pointedly unromantic: goodness is not a mood, it’s endurance under pressure.
Then he lands on “a touch that never hurts,” the most intimate and socially alert phrase. “Touch” is gentler than “hand” or “word,” but it carries physical, emotional, and institutional force: how you correct, how you joke, how you punish, how you manage the people beneath you. Dickens knew that cruelty often arrives as casual contact - the offhand humiliation, the bureaucratic shove, the parental snap.
The sentence works because it refuses heroic virtue and targets the everyday mechanics of harm. It’s a compact Dickensian rebuttal to a culture that called hardness maturity and called tiredness an excuse.
Quote Details
| Topic | Kindness |
|---|---|
| Source | Verified source: Our Mutual Friend (Charles Dickens, 1864)
Evidence: ‘And if it’s proud to have a heart that never hardens, and a temper that never tires, and a touch that never hurts,’ Miss Jenny struck in, flushed, ‘she is proud. And if it’s not, she is not.’ (Book the Third (“A Long Lane”), Chapter 2 (“A Respected Friend in a New Aspect”)). This line is often circulated in shortened form as “Have a heart that never hardens…” but in Dickens’s text it appears as dialogue spoken by Jenny Wren (“Miss Jenny”) defending Lizzie Hexam. Primary-text witnesses online match this wording in Book 3, Chapter 2. The novel’s first publication was serialized in 19 monthly parts (20 numbers, last a double number) issued May 1864 through November 1865, so the quote first appeared in the relevant monthly part during that serial run (not as a speech/interview). A later single-volume/volume book issue followed during 1865, but the earliest publication is the 1864–1865 serial. Other candidates (1) The Works of Charles Dickens: Our mutual friend. 2 v (Charles Dickens, 1898) compilation95.0% ... have a heart that never hardens , and a temper that never tires , and a touch that never hurts , " Miss Jenny str... |
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Citation Formats
APA Style (7th ed.)
Dickens, Charles. (2026, February 8). Have a heart that never hardens, and a temper that never tires, and a touch that never hurts. FixQuotes. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/have-a-heart-that-never-hardens-and-a-temper-that-14329/
Chicago Style
Dickens, Charles. "Have a heart that never hardens, and a temper that never tires, and a touch that never hurts." FixQuotes. February 8, 2026. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/have-a-heart-that-never-hardens-and-a-temper-that-14329/.
MLA Style (9th ed.)
"Have a heart that never hardens, and a temper that never tires, and a touch that never hurts." FixQuotes, 8 Feb. 2026, https://fixquotes.com/quotes/have-a-heart-that-never-hardens-and-a-temper-that-14329/. Accessed 1 Mar. 2026.











