"He opened up the tent where I was actually literally bent over a chair getting my crack touched up and I turned around and said, 'don't come in here Bryan, you don't need to be seeing this!' and he said, 'ooh, you need some white wine.' He handed me a glass of wine"
About this Quote
The line lands because it treats chaos like workplace banter. Romijn is describing a behind-the-scenes moment - cramped, unglamorous, bodily - that punctures the fantasy machinery of celebrity. The blunt physicality ("literally bent over a chair") is comic on its face, but it also functions as a power move: she controls the frame by narrating it with surgical plainness, refusing to euphemize. That refusal is the joke and the defense. In a business built on selling the seamless image, she spotlights the seam.
Her reflexive warning - "don't come in here... you don't need to be seeing this!" - performs modesty while acknowledging the reality that her body is constantly being managed, inspected, adjusted. It's less prudish than protective: a boundary offered in a space where boundaries are often porous, especially for women whose labor is embodied.
Then the punchline arrives wearing a polite smile: "ooh, you need some white wine". Bryan's response swerves away from discomfort into domestic caretaking, a tiny act of normalization that doubles as avoidance. Alcohol becomes a prop for smoothing over awkwardness, a socially acceptable solvent for the fact that what's happening is, at root, invasive and routine. The handed glass reads like a sitcom beat, but the subtext is sharper: the industry has trained everyone to cope by making the intimate logistical, the humiliating funny, the human manageable.
Romijn's intent feels less confessional than tactical - reclaiming a potentially degrading anecdote by making it entertaining, and in doing so, quietly indicting the system that made "getting my crack touched up" just another item on the call sheet.
Her reflexive warning - "don't come in here... you don't need to be seeing this!" - performs modesty while acknowledging the reality that her body is constantly being managed, inspected, adjusted. It's less prudish than protective: a boundary offered in a space where boundaries are often porous, especially for women whose labor is embodied.
Then the punchline arrives wearing a polite smile: "ooh, you need some white wine". Bryan's response swerves away from discomfort into domestic caretaking, a tiny act of normalization that doubles as avoidance. Alcohol becomes a prop for smoothing over awkwardness, a socially acceptable solvent for the fact that what's happening is, at root, invasive and routine. The handed glass reads like a sitcom beat, but the subtext is sharper: the industry has trained everyone to cope by making the intimate logistical, the humiliating funny, the human manageable.
Romijn's intent feels less confessional than tactical - reclaiming a potentially degrading anecdote by making it entertaining, and in doing so, quietly indicting the system that made "getting my crack touched up" just another item on the call sheet.
Quote Details
| Topic | Funny |
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