"I always seem to have a vague feeling that he is a Satan among musicians, a fallen angel in the darkness who is perpetually seeking to fight his way back to happiness"
About this Quote
Ellis also builds his authority on ambivalence. “I always seem to have a vague feeling” reads like a clinician catching himself mythologizing a patient - an admission that what he’s describing is as much projection as observation. The vagueness is strategic: it grants him the freedom to sketch a temperament rather than provide evidence, a common move in early psychology when case histories often drifted into literary portraiture.
The line’s engine is perpetual motion. “Perpetually seeking” and “fight his way back” turn happiness into a contested territory, not a mood. The musician’s inner life becomes a melodrama of relapse and redemption: darkness isn’t a phase; it’s the default setting. In the cultural context of Ellis’s era, when degeneration theory and romantic notions of the tortured genius circulated side by side, this kind of language offers a tidy story the public loves: artistry as a wound, performance as self-exorcism, pleasure as something the gifted must earn through suffering. It flatters the artist’s intensity while quietly pathologizing it - admiration disguised as diagnosis.
Quote Details
| Topic | Music |
|---|---|
| Source | Help us find the source |
| Cite |
Citation Formats
APA Style (7th ed.)
Ellis, Henry. (2026, January 18). I always seem to have a vague feeling that he is a Satan among musicians, a fallen angel in the darkness who is perpetually seeking to fight his way back to happiness. FixQuotes. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/i-always-seem-to-have-a-vague-feeling-that-he-is-5328/
Chicago Style
Ellis, Henry. "I always seem to have a vague feeling that he is a Satan among musicians, a fallen angel in the darkness who is perpetually seeking to fight his way back to happiness." FixQuotes. January 18, 2026. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/i-always-seem-to-have-a-vague-feeling-that-he-is-5328/.
MLA Style (9th ed.)
"I always seem to have a vague feeling that he is a Satan among musicians, a fallen angel in the darkness who is perpetually seeking to fight his way back to happiness." FixQuotes, 18 Jan. 2026, https://fixquotes.com/quotes/i-always-seem-to-have-a-vague-feeling-that-he-is-5328/. Accessed 12 Feb. 2026.







