"I am not feeling any better because I cannot stay in bed, having constant cause for walking. They say I leave at night by the window of my tower, hanging from a red umbrella with which I set fire to the forest!"
About this Quote
The “they say” is the trapdoor. It signals an outside chorus - doctors, caretakers, family, polite society - converting her lived discomfort into a gothic anecdote: tower, window, night escape, red umbrella, arson. The details are too vivid to be clinical and too absurd to be credible, which is exactly the point. The surreal image functions like a caricature of madness, the kind that’s memorable enough to stick and degrading enough to justify control. “Hanging from a red umbrella” is almost slapstick, but the laughter catches in the throat once you remember Claudel’s biography: institutionalized for decades, her claims and agency repeatedly overwritten.
There’s also an artist’s hand at work. Claudel thinks in objects: a tower, a window, an umbrella, a forest - props arranged like sculpture in space. The red umbrella is especially loaded: a feminine accessory recast as incendiary weapon, a neat metaphor for how women’s tools (and women’s art) get recoded as threat when they refuse containment.
What makes the line sting is its double vision. Claudel is both inside the suffering and outside it, watching the story others are inventing - a story less about her symptoms than about their need to explain away a difficult, brilliant woman.
Quote Details
| Topic | Mental Health |
|---|---|
| Source | Help us find the source |
| Cite | Cite this Quote |
Citation Formats
APA Style (7th ed.)
Claudel, Camille. (n.d.). I am not feeling any better because I cannot stay in bed, having constant cause for walking. They say I leave at night by the window of my tower, hanging from a red umbrella with which I set fire to the forest! FixQuotes. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/i-am-not-feeling-any-better-because-i-cannot-stay-66029/
Chicago Style
Claudel, Camille. "I am not feeling any better because I cannot stay in bed, having constant cause for walking. They say I leave at night by the window of my tower, hanging from a red umbrella with which I set fire to the forest!" FixQuotes. Accessed February 1, 2026. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/i-am-not-feeling-any-better-because-i-cannot-stay-66029/.
MLA Style (9th ed.)
"I am not feeling any better because I cannot stay in bed, having constant cause for walking. They say I leave at night by the window of my tower, hanging from a red umbrella with which I set fire to the forest!" FixQuotes, https://fixquotes.com/quotes/i-am-not-feeling-any-better-because-i-cannot-stay-66029/. Accessed 1 Feb. 2026.





