"I didn't think then, and I still don't, that I was actually sick"
About this Quote
That line lands like a refusal to sign someone else’s paperwork. Farmer isn’t just disputing a diagnosis; she’s rejecting the whole social machine that decides what counts as “sick,” especially when the subject is a difficult woman. The plainness of the phrasing is the point: no lyrical self-mythology, no softening. It’s a stubborn insistence on her own perception over the expert chorus.
As an actress in mid-century America, Farmer moved through an industry that demanded compliance and punished nonconformity. In that context, “sick” becomes less a medical category than a disciplinary one: a label that can translate unruly behavior, political friction, sexual independence, or refusal to play nice into something treatable, containable, institutionalizable. The sentence’s time hinge - “then” and “still” - signals a long afterlife of being talked over. Whatever happened to her, the story keeps getting rewritten by doctors, studios, gossip columns, and biographers. She’s drawing a boundary around her narrative, years later, when the public has already decided what her life was “about.”
The subtext is also bruisingly modern: being unwell is not the same as being deemed unfit. Farmer’s emphasis on belief (“I didn’t think”) exposes how much psychiatric authority depends on power and consensus, not just symptoms. She doesn’t offer an alternative diagnosis because she’s not negotiating terms; she’s calling out the coercion baked into the question.
As an actress in mid-century America, Farmer moved through an industry that demanded compliance and punished nonconformity. In that context, “sick” becomes less a medical category than a disciplinary one: a label that can translate unruly behavior, political friction, sexual independence, or refusal to play nice into something treatable, containable, institutionalizable. The sentence’s time hinge - “then” and “still” - signals a long afterlife of being talked over. Whatever happened to her, the story keeps getting rewritten by doctors, studios, gossip columns, and biographers. She’s drawing a boundary around her narrative, years later, when the public has already decided what her life was “about.”
The subtext is also bruisingly modern: being unwell is not the same as being deemed unfit. Farmer’s emphasis on belief (“I didn’t think”) exposes how much psychiatric authority depends on power and consensus, not just symptoms. She doesn’t offer an alternative diagnosis because she’s not negotiating terms; she’s calling out the coercion baked into the question.
Quote Details
| Topic | Mental Health |
|---|---|
| Source | Help us find the source |
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