"I don't let people use me. That's why I like a small number of people in my life. The more people in my life, the more complex it becomes, so I just try to keep it at a minimum"
About this Quote
"I don't let people use me" isn't just about moochers. It's about labor, emotional and otherwise. In an industry built on access - favors, introductions, "quick asks", last-minute demands framed as loyalty - refusal becomes a kind of self-preservation. The second sentence sharpens the blade: liking fewer people isn't misanthropy; it's curation. Affection, here, has an admissions policy.
Then she pivots to "complexity", a word that sounds neutral but carries a warning. More relationships mean more obligations, more narrative management, more chances for your time and goodwill to be negotiated away. Complexity isn't chaos; it's overhead. Baker frames minimalism not as loneliness but as efficiency: fewer people, fewer politics, fewer leaks.
The subtext is also gendered. Women in public life are expected to be endlessly gracious, to absorb need without calling it need. Saying "minimum" pushes back against that script. It's not a confession of coldness; it's a statement of terms. In a culture that treats access as love, Baker argues for something less performative: closeness that doesn't come with invoices.
Quote Details
| Topic | Fake Friends |
|---|---|
| Source | Help us find the source |
| Cite |
Citation Formats
APA Style (7th ed.)
Baker, Anita. (2026, January 16). I don't let people use me. That's why I like a small number of people in my life. The more people in my life, the more complex it becomes, so I just try to keep it at a minimum. FixQuotes. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/i-dont-let-people-use-me-thats-why-i-like-a-small-100669/
Chicago Style
Baker, Anita. "I don't let people use me. That's why I like a small number of people in my life. The more people in my life, the more complex it becomes, so I just try to keep it at a minimum." FixQuotes. January 16, 2026. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/i-dont-let-people-use-me-thats-why-i-like-a-small-100669/.
MLA Style (9th ed.)
"I don't let people use me. That's why I like a small number of people in my life. The more people in my life, the more complex it becomes, so I just try to keep it at a minimum." FixQuotes, 16 Jan. 2026, https://fixquotes.com/quotes/i-dont-let-people-use-me-thats-why-i-like-a-small-100669/. Accessed 19 Feb. 2026.







